If an ornament was put outside, it might be able to handle the elements. This doesn’t mean that its appearance won’t change as time goes by; what it means is that it won’t end up falling apart.
However, there is also the chance that it won’t be long until it does start to fall apart. It will then be clear that it hasn’t got what takes to handle the elements, and this is why it shouldn’t have been exposed to the outside world.
A Lot in Common
In the same way, someone can find that being in the outside world generally doesn’t have much of a negative effect on them. It is then going to be possible for them to be in the world without being overwhelmed by it.
There may be the odd thing that knocks them down, but they won’t continually be knocked down to the ground. Thus, like the first statue above, they will have what it takes to handle the elements.
A Different Story
For someone else, they may have a lot in common with the second statue that is mentioned above. If they spend time in the outside world, it could be normal for them to react strongly to something.
And if they are able to clam themselves down, it might not be long until the same thing happens again. Therefore, they could believe that they haven’t got what it takes to be around others for too long.
The Modern-Day World
Yet, even if they don’t spend time around others, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to feel at peace. The reason for this is that one may have the inclination to experience a strong emotional reaction when they go online.
For example, they could see what someone has posted online or they could watch video and that could be it; their inner world could be all over the place. After something like this has taken place, they may take a break from being online, or they may find that they get sucked in.
If one was to get to the point where they have had enough of experiencing life in this way, they could do one of two things. Trying to control what is taking place in the external world may appeal to them; that’s if they believe that this is the problem.
Trying to control what other people say or do is then going to be seen as the right thing to do. This will be a way for them to no longer experience so much inner unrest and to enjoy being around others, as well as to feel safe online.
Plenty of Support
If they do try to control other people’s behaviour, they are likely to find that it is not hard for them to find people who are coming from the same place. Like them, these people will be focusing on changing what is going on externally as opposed to what is taking place within them.
What is interesting about this is that if they tried to behave in this way in a relationship, they would most likely be described as being abusive, and it will be clear that their behaviour is wrong. But, in this context, their behaviour can be seen as being right.
Alternatively, one might not be interested on trying to control other people’s behaviour, preferring to look into how they can change themselves. This will show that they are not willing to violate another person’s autonomy.
For whatever reason, one is going to take responsibility for how they feel, not make other people solely responsible for it. It could be said that this will be the intelligent thing to do.
All Over the Place
If they were to step back and to reflect on what happens when something has an effect on them, they may find that they don’t always respond in the same way. There may be times when they end up getting extremely angry, while at others, they may experience a lot of fear.
During other moments, they may end up being overwhelmed by anxiety or sadness. Living life in this way is going to cause them to experience a lot of ups and downs, making it hard for them to experience inner peace, to focus and to live in the moment.
A Deeper Look
One way of looking at this would be to say that this shows that they need to gain control of their mind. Through learning how to manage their thoughts, it will allow their emotions to settle down.
This could be an accurate assessment or there could be far more to it. It might be more accurate to say that one is carrying a lot of trauma, which is why it is more or less impossible for them to manage their emotions.
Back In Time
If one was to look back on their life, they may find that something took place in their adult life that caused their inner world to change. Something would then have happened that overwhelmed them, and this would have meant that their system was unable to integrate the experience.
The years would have passed but what took place is still causing them problems and will continue to do so until they resole it. Then again, what took place during their early years may be the reason why their emotional self is all at sea.
A Closer Look
During their early years, they may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect. This would have most likely left mark on their whole being – their brain, mind and body.
Once again, a number of years will have passed since that time in their life but their being will still be in a bad way. What this illustrates is that time alone won’t heal the damage that was done.
If anything, the only thing that time will do is cause them to be in even more pain and to become more disconnected from what took place. So if one can relate to this, and they want to change themselves, they may need to reach out for external support.
This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
Child Abuse And Neglect - How To Heal From Child Abuse And Neglect