Empty: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Feel Empty?

Even if someone feels emotionally empty, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of it. The reason for this is that this could just be normal, which is why it won’t be something that stands out.

However, while this may be the case, they could still be aware of the effects of being this way. When it comes to the effects, they could be only too aware of them.  

Disconnected

But, as they are not aware of what is going on at a deeper level, they won’t be able to join the dots, so to speak. They are then going to suffer in a myriad of different ways, yet the information that they need that would shed light on what is going on will be out of their reach.

As this is what is normal, it could show that they have been this way for most of their life. Therefore, in order for them to ‘wake up’, it might take something that is fairly significant to allow them to see clearly.

A Closer Look

When it comes to their day-to-day life, they can often experience an inner restlessness and find it hard to just be. They are then going to spend a lot of time feeling needy and they will seldom feel satisfied.

At times, they might struggle to understand what it is that they need, while at others, this could be something that is clear. Either way, they are going to spend a lot of time craving something.

For example

So, they might spend a lot of time eating and if they don’t smoke, they might vape or often be chewing or sucking something. When they are not working, they could spend a lot of time shopping.

Due to how restless they are likely to be and how hard it is for them to sit still, they could often feel tired and even exhausted. But, what is going on inside them will push them forward, perhaps until they can no longer continue to live in this way.

Another Area

If they are not in a relationship, they could spend a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to be in one. When their imagination runs wild, they can feel at ease and feel deeply satisfied.

This could show that they have been in at least one relationship or this could just be how they believe they will feel. Then again, they could currently be in a relationship and not feel this way but believe that it will be different with someone else; perhaps someone in particular.

The Other side

If they ever do slow down and allow themselves to just be, they could end up feeling very low and even depressed. To use an analogy, it can be as though they are a blow up toy that has been deflated.

Still, it is not that they will have been inflated before; it is that they won’t have allowed themselves to surrender to how they really feel. If something significant does take place and they no longer have the energy or the desire to be practically always on the go, they could wonder why they are this way.

What’s going on?

What could soon stand out, that’s if they were to look for answers online, for instance, is that they don’t feel whole and complete at an emotional level and have been searching for something that will finally allow them to feel different. They will have believed, for so long, that something ‘out there’ will allow this to take place.

Yet, after trying to unconsciously fill the hole within them with all kinds of things and people; it will be clear that this doesn’t work. At this point, it might seem as though there is no way for them to change how they feel and that they will be this way forever.

The Big Question

What they could soon wonder is why they feel this way. There is a strong chance that they feel this way due to what took place during their formative years.

This may have been a time when they were largely deprived of the nutrients that they needed to be able to grow and develop in the right way. They would then have had a physical birth but they wouldn’t have had an emotional birth.

The Outcome

During this stage of their life, they may have often been neglected. As they were powerless and totally dependent, they wouldn’t have been able to do anything about what was going on.

Their only option would have been for their brain to automatically repress their needs and the pain that they experienced through not getting them met, and for them to go into a shut down, disconnected, collapsed and frozen state. The years would then have continued to pass but their unmet developmental needs and the pain that they experienced won’t have disappeared and they will have stayed in an undeveloped state.

Calling Out

For all this time, then, the child that they once were will be calling out for someone to fulfil the needs that were not met all those years ago. Or to be more accurate, the child parts inside them will be as there is likely to be more than one part and some of these parts could relate to when they were a toddler and an infant.

These parts of them will have caused them to unconsciously project the parent or parents that they had onto both others and things and then to believe that these people and things would allow them to finally receive what they missed out on. This part of them won’t realise that this stage of their life is over as it won’t be able to see clearly or have a sense of time.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk