When I was on a plane at the end of last year, I started watching a few episodes of a series called Yellowstone. I think I may have heard about it before or I might have just been curious about it after I saw the cover and read the description.
Anyway, I was soon engrossed in the series and I was looking forward to watching more episodes when I got home. This series is described as a Western and it is full of drama.
After I had watched eight episodes, what stood out was how entangled one character was with his father. I then thought about how he is not the only one as his brother and sister are also caught up in their father’s world.
Over the years, I have written a lot about how a man and woman can experience life when they are entangled with one of their parents and the reason why they would be in this position. And, along with reading articles and books and watching videos that focus on this topic, I believe that watching a series or a film where a son or daughter or both is entangled with their parent or parents can also play a part in gaining a deeper understanding of this dynamic.
A Few Points
Perhaps you have watched this series or perhaps you haven’t. But, just in case you haven’t, I won’t give too much away and will just touch on a few of the moments from the first series that stood out for me.
If you haven’t and you have no plans to, you will probably still be able to gain something from the parts that I do mention. Without further ado, let’s begin.
This series is based around the Dutton family, who own a large ranch, and the oldest Dutton, John, has four children. Beth, his second child, is very strong-willed, bold, and smart.
She is also manipulative, cold and emotionally shut down, and she drinks a lot. Due to how she comes across, she is far more masculine than her brothers and in some ways; she is probably the most suitable candidate to take over the business.
The Other Side
After a few flashbacks, it becomes clear why she is in a lot of pain and is on the path of self-destruction. Her mother’s last words, if I remember rightly, were anything but loving and before this, her mother said that she would have to turn her into a man.
As a result of the experiences that her mother had had, she believed that a woman couldn’t embrace her feminine side. She then forced her to lose touch with this part of her as she thought that it was the best way to protect her.
The Third and Fourth
Kayce, his third child, is a loose cannon; it only takes something small for him to explode. Not only this, there is one drama after another and it seems as though he is inches away from either being killed or ending up in prison.
Jamie, his fourth child, is very sensible and reserved; he is very different to Beth and Kayce. If his sibling's motto is, live fast, die young; his motto is, live slow, die old.
It’s almost as if he is too level-headed and well-behaved to be part of this family. However, he brings a lot to the table, so to speak; the trouble is that his contribution is not really appreciated.
As strong as Beth is, her focus is still on pleasing her father. She moves back home to live with him and ends up spending most of her time doing things to help her father.
Now, one way of looking at this would be to say that even though she has put her own life to one side and is helping him, she is helping to protect and sustain a business that she might inherit. This can’t be denied and yet, he doesn’t treat her like a separate human being who has needs and feelings of her own.
When she speaks about her mother or does something that he doesn’t like, he soon shuts her down and treats her like she has no value or importance. She is then a grown woman but at an emotional level, she is still a little girl who desperately craves her father’s love and acknowledgement.
Kayce, on the other hand, appears to be different to his older sister in this regard as he has moved away and has his own family. But, his father has caused him a lot of hurt over the years and he hasn’t faced and worked through this hurt.
Anchored To The Past
Consequently, this hurt has prevented him from truly being able to emotionally separate from his father and create his own life. The endless fights and dramas that he has are no doubt partly a replay of how it was for him as a child and he is likely to be unconsciously trying to receive the love that he missed out on.
The hate that he feels toward his father is also preventing him from being able to accept his help, something that he could do with. But, if he was to accept his father’s support, as was probably the case during his formative years, it would mean that he would have to do what he wanted - it would be conditional.
On The Outside
As level-headed and sensible as Jamie is, he desperately craves his father's acceptance. In general, doesn’t matter how he feels or what his needs are, what matters is what his father wants.
Sadly, even when he does what his father wants and does a good job, his father still doesn’t show his appreciation. Just as with his older sister and brother, then, he is a man, but emotionally, he is still a boy who craves his father’s love and acknowledgement.
These are just a few of the moments in the series that shine the light on what can take place when someone hasn’t emotionally separated from one or both of their parents and is still trying to receive the love that they missed out on during their formative years. Their emotional self will be frozen in time as they were deeply deprived and wounded as a child.
Their intellect will have grown and developed, with this part of them far surpassing the development of their emotional self. The outcome of this is that they can play the role of an adult and even be very high-functioning but what is going for them at an emotional level will undermine them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.