When someone is given something, they can feel the need to give something back. This doesn’t mean that they will give something back straight away though; as they could return the favour at a later date.
So as time passes, one may give something to the person or the company who gave them something. Yet, there is also the chance that this won’t take place, and one will end up giving something to someone else or to another company.
However, the most important thing is that one is able to give something back. And while there will be moments when they are out of balance, this won’t be because they are not willing to give; it will be due to the fact that it is not the right time for them to give.
If one was to only receive and didn’t take the time to give something back, they would be out of balance. This would mean that one is not playing their part on this earth and it is also going to have a negative effect on their relationships.
There are many ways that one can receive something without having to give anything, and this can take place without one even having to go anywhere. All they have to do is to pick up their phone and to go to website that has something to offer.
One could come to the conclusion that they are just being given something for no apparent reason. However, while it may seem this way, this is not actually the case. The reason they are being given something is so that they feel the need to buy something in return.
It Feels Right
There are going to be people who feel the need to give something back once they have been given something. And this won’t be something that one has to think about; as it will be something that just feels right.
If they were to just receive something without giving anything back, it would have a negative effect on them. One would start to feel guilty and ashamed, and as though they have done something wrong. Similar to how they might feel if they were to go into a shop and take something that didn’t belong to them.
Once they buy something, their sense of unease will soon disappear and one will then be able to return to how they felt before. Yet, if this inner unease didn’t exist, one wouldn’t feel the need to return the favour.
Instead of feeling as though one needs to give something back, they could feel as they are getting what they are entitled to. And as one is getting what they deserve, it is going to mean that they don’t need to give anything back.
Lost And Found
If one lost something in their house and then found it, it would mean that they haven’t been given anything. One has simply found what belongs to them and as a result of this; they won’t need to give anything to anyone.
When one believes they are being given something that belongs to them, they can have the same outlook. The law of reciprocity is not operating within them and this is because they have an entitlement mentality.
There is then no need for them to give anything in return as their mere existence is enough for them to feel entitled to whatever they get. This is likely to take place without one feeling guilty and ashamed, or as though they are doing anything wrong.
It could be hard for the people who do give something back to understand how someone could be like this. But for the person who is like this, it might be hard for them to understand what it is that they are doing wrong.
Lack of Development
One way of looking at this would be to say the reason someone feels entitled to free things is because of their level of development. Their physical development could then be way ahead of their mental and emotional development.
During the beginning of someone’s life, they will have had a sense of entitlement. This is normal, because on one side, they had developmental needs and on the other, they couldn’t fulfil them by themselves. However, as long as one receives the right care and guidance, they will grow out of this state.
Without the right care and guidance, there is a strong chance that one will end up stuck in this developmental stage. The two biggest factors will be what happened during their childhood and what is taking place in the society they live in.
If one receives the right care and is brought up in the right way, it might not matter if the society they live in encourages people to have an entitlement mentality. Yet, if the right care and guidance is not provided, there is a greater chance that one will be influenced by the society they live in.
An important influence will be the kind of messages they received from their caregiver/s. if they were told that they deserve to have what they want, it can cause them to believe that they don’t have to give anything back or to work for anything in life.
This could mean that their caregiver had their own narcissistic wounds and this caused one to be falsely empowered. And because today’s society conditions people to believe that they are entitled to things, it makes it harder for someone to realise that they are out of balance.
When people feel that they are entitled to have whatever they want, it is going to stop them form playing their part. And as they will depend on others, it will be easier for them to be controlled.
Perhaps this is why today’s society conditions people to have an entitlement mentality. All the time people are kept in this undeveloped state, their power is given to the people in power.
In order for someone to let go of their entitlement mentality, it will be important for them to look at why they feel as they do. This could mean that they have emotional work to do and that they need to grieve their unmet childhood needs. The assistance of a therapist, healer and/or a support group may be needed.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.