Existence: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Feel Guilty For Existing?

Even though someone has the right to be on this planet, it doesn’t mean that they will know this at the core of their being. Instead, they can feel as though they don’t deserve to be here.

If this is so, it won’t be seen as something that they merely believe; it will be seen as the truth. It is then not going to matter how they behave or what they do as how they experience life won’t change.

Emotional State

By having this view, it is going to be normal for them to feel low and they may have moments when they think about ending their life. If they have these moments, this can be seen as the only way for them to change what is going on for them.

This can be something that they will keep to themselves, with them not wanting to bother others. They will see both themselves and their needs as a burden, so it is not going to be a surprise if they do hide what is going on for them.

A Struggle

Over the years, they may have done a lot for others and done their best to have a positive impact on the world. But, no matter what they have done, it won’t have truly changed how they feel about themselves.

If it has changed how they feel, it might not have been long before they went back to how they were before. They might then have basked in the positive feelings and thoughts that they experienced, only to fall back down before long.

External Feedback

Now, if a friend, family member or colleague, for instance, was to hear about how they feel, they could be surprised. Furthermore, they themselves could say that how they feel is not true and that they do deserve to be there.

What could play a big part in this is that they could see that this is someone who is a good person, who generally treats others well and does a lot of good. Yet, if one hasn’t opened up to any of the people in their life, they won’t be able to receive their support.

The Cause

If they were to think about when they first started to experience life in this way, they could think about something that has happened to them. Then again, they could find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember.

Consequently, they could wonder if they were simply born this way. What took place whilst they were in their mother’s womb may have played a part and, along with this, what they experienced during their formative might have also played a part.

The First Part

Assuming that what took place whilst they were in their mother’s womb played a part, this may have been a time when their mother had a lot going on. For example, she might not have wanted a child or another child, wanted a boy/girl or been under a lot of stress.

And, although they were in an underdeveloped state, they would have picked up on their mother’s mental and emotional state. The message that they received would have been that they were not wanted.

The Second Part

Regardless of if this stage of their life was welcoming; they might not have had a very welcoming childhood. They may have had at least one parent who was anything but loving.

As a result of this, they might have often been neglected, physically harmed and verbally put down. Therefore, they wouldn’t have been treated as though they were a value being who deserved to exist; they would have been treated as though they were unwanted, a burden and worthless and unlovable.

Straight in

In all likelihood, this parent was not in a good way and unconsciously ended up projecting their own disowned darkness into their child. The trouble is that as they were egocentric at this stage of their life, they would have personalised what took place.

This would have stopped them from being able to see that how they were treated was not a reflection of them. These experiences would then have shaped their view of themselves.

The Truth

With this in mind, how they see themselves, and the thoughts, feelings and beliefs that go with this view have no basis in reality. Naturally, due to how convincing their inner experience will be, it won’t be possible for them to accept this right now.

However, by questioning what they believe and working through the pain that they experienced during their early years and had to repress, for instance, this is likely to gradually change. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk