Existence: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Believe That They Don't Deserve To Exist?

If someone was to sit with themselves and was able to connect with how they really feel, what they may soon find is that they don’t feel as though they deserve to exist. As opposed to being worthy of being here, then, they will feel like an intruder.

After this, they could look into why this is and end up doing something about it. Then again, this could be something that is running outside of their conscious awareness and thus, it won’t be something that they are aware of and are able to do anything about.

A Big Impact

But, even if this is not something that they are consciously aware of, it doesn’t mean that how they truly feel won’t have an effect on their life. From behind the scenes, so to speak, it will influence their life.

One thing it can do is cause them to spend a lot of time feeling anxious and even fearful. The reason for this is that as they don’t feel that they have the right to be here, they will expect to be rejected and abandoned by others.

One Conclusion

Yet, as they won’t be connected to what is truly going on for them, they could just believe that they suffer from anxiety, for instance. How they experience life is then not going to make any sense.

Consequently, they could end up being put on medication to help them deal with their ‘irrational’ anxiety. Additionally, they could end up learning how to ‘manage’ their thoughts and meditating.

Another Consequence

What could also be common is for them to do what they can to please others and thereby, neglect themselves. They won’t feel worthy of having needs let alone meeting them and doing what others want can just take place automatically.

In this case, they won’t be aware of the fact that they are neglecting themselves. But, if they were to become aware of this, the pull to be a non-entity and abandon themselves is likely to be too strong.

Never Enough

When it comes to what they do for a living, they could do something that is anything but fulfilling. Still, this could be seen as their only option and something that they simply have to tolerate.

If, on the other hand, they do something that is fulfilling, they could have been at the same level for years. It might not matter how hard they work or what as they are unlikely to feel worthy of having more.
 
One Big Battle

And, due to how they feel deep down, if they do allow themselves to rise up, it might not be long until they start to come back down. So, if they earn more money than usual, are treated better or are more successful, this could soon end.

Experiencing life in this way is going to feel uncomfortable and a big part of them will cause them to sabotage their life. Once their life goes back to how it was before, they might feel angry and frustrated but it will allow them to feel more settled.

Stepping Back

After a while, they could mentally detach from what is going on and wonder why their life is this way. What could gradually stand out is that they find it hard to accept that they deserve to be here and to have their needs met.

Additionally, they could see that they have constantly tried to justify their own existence and to earn the right to be here. Before long, they could find that they have been this way for as long as they can remember.

Going Deeper

What this may illustrate is that, during their formative years, they were not given the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way. This may have been a time when they were often neglected and verbally and physically harmed.

Instead of having parents that chose to have them; it would have been as if they just appeared out of nowhere and were not welcome. The trouble is that as they were egocentric, they would have personalised what took place.

The Outcome

They would then have believed that they were unworthy, unlovable and had no right to exist, amongst other things. However, it wouldn’t be accurate to say that this was solely something that they believed as it would have been something that permeated their whole being.

Now that they are an adult, how they feel and see themselves will be seen as the absolute truth. In reality, it is nothing more than an outcome of them personalising how their wounded parents treated them.

Moving Forward

With this in mind, it will be important for them to, one, question what they believe, and two, to face and work through the pain that they would have experienced all those years ago. This will be the pain that their brain automatically repressed.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk