If someone is carrying a lot of emotional pain, they may do just about everything that they can to keep it at bay. This could take place by taking things, doing things, and focusing on things.
What this will typically do is stop them from having to come into contact with what is taking place in their body. Clearly, then, they are not going to feel strong enough to face this pain; if they did, there would be no reason for them to run away from it.
Their inner world is not going to be a place of peace and harmony; it will be a place of unrest and disharmony. So, although there may be things in the external world that are an issue, their biggest issue is likely to be what is going on within them.
The trouble is that regardless of where they go on this planet, they are not going to be able to get away from themselves. Just as their physical shadow will always be there, so will their inner pain.
A lot of their time, energy and financial resources are going to be directed towards their need to avoid themselves. If this wasn’t the case, they would be able to do what they could to make sure that their life is more fulfilling, not just less painful.
Deep down, they may believe that if they were to face their pain it would wipe them out, which is why they need to avoid it at all costs. Irrespective of whether this would or wouldn’t happen, avoiding this pain is not going to do them any favours.
No one is their own island
If they were unable to lift a table, for instance, they would probably ask someone to help them. Yet, for whatever reason, they haven’t asked another person to help them handle their emotional pain.
One reason for this is that they could be carrying a lot of shame, and this will most likely give them a strong need to hide their pain and themselves. With all this going on, it’s not going to be a surprise for them to behave in this way.
But while they may have the need to keep what they are going through to themselves due to the shame that is within them, it doesn’t mean that this shame is not deceiving them. The fact is that this shame is causing them to have an inaccurate view of themselves and others.
There are people in the world who will be able to offer their understanding and to be there for them. Someone like this will be able to provide their presence to enable them to face what they haven’t been able to face by themselves.
The Right Support
This process is very similar to what takes place when a loving parent is there for their child who is upset. As their child is unable to handle their own emotions, their parent will hold the space for them.
What this attunement will do is allow their child’s brain to develop it in the right way, thereby allowing them to gradually develop the ability to handle their own emotions. Sadly, this type of care isn’t always provided, and this could not only be the reason why one is unable to handle their emotions, it could also be why they are in so much pain.
Perhaps, the care that they needed to be able to develop in the right way at this stage of their life wasn’t provided, preventing their brain from developing in the right way and loading them up with emotional pain in the process. A good therapist or a healer will be able to offer the support that they need to face and then to work through their inner wounds.
This, of course, is not going to happen overnight. There is likely to be many layers of pain within them and, the more layers their work through, the stronger their being will become.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.