False Self: Can Early Deprivation Give Someone A Strong Need To Adapt?

Having the ability to adapt is important; after all, there are going to be times when something won’t go to plan. During a moment like this, someone will need to be able to change their approach.

If they were unable to do this, it wouldn’t be possible for them to move forward and to achieve their objective. Instead, they would just end up feeling frustrated and helpless and would be stuck.

A Bleak Life

And, if this is the norm, they wouldn’t be able to make much progress in life and this would lead to a very frustrating existence. Feeling hopeless and helpless would then be something that they are accustomed to.

But, if they were to come across someone who is doing well and this is partly because they are able to adapt, they could believe that they have something that they themselves don’t have. What they wouldn’t realise is that it’s not that everything works out for them; it is that they have the ability to adapt.

Another Scenario

However, while having the ability to adapt is important, what is also important is to have the ability to stand firm and not adapt. In this case, it will be important for someone to draw the line and not go along with something that is not serving them.


For example, they could work or live somewhere that is not right for them and need to leave this environment. If they don’t do this, their mental and emotional health is likely to suffer and this will then impact other areas of their life.

Two parts

What this illustrates is that having the ability to adapt is important as is not having the ability to adapt. Nonetheless, even when someone needs to stand their ground and not adapt, it could still be said that they will be making an adjustment.

Now, even though it is important to have both abilities, someone can be in a position where they find it very easy to adapt but very hard to draw the line and not go along with something that is not right for them. Consequently, they could live a life that is anything but fulfilling.

A Closer Look

So, they could both live and work somewhere that is not right for them. Along with this, they could have a number of friendships that are not right for them and perhaps be in a relationship that isn’t, either.

With so many areas of their life weighing them down, it is not going to be a sunrise if they feel pretty helpless and hopeless. To use an analogy, it will be as if they are in the sea with weights tied to their ankles.

A Battle

They will have very little energy and each day is going to be a struggle. But, if living in this way is just what is normal, what is going on might not stand out.

They can then just feel very low and exhausted but they won’t do anything to try to change their circumstances. Still, they could hope that their life will change one day and do their best to keep going.

Stepping back

If something was to happen that caused them to step back and reflect on their life, they could wonder why they find it so easy to adapt and are so tolerant of things that don’t serve them. Like a fish, they will have the tendency to just go with the flow and this won’t allow them to live a life that is in alignment with who they are.

What could soon stand out is that they have been this way for as long as they can remember. They could also find that they don’t believe that it is possible for them to change their life or that they have the right to.

Going Deeper

If they were to take a closer look, they could find that they feel totally powerless as though they have no control over their life. They are then going to be in a deep hole and they won’t see a way out.

There is a chance that they are experiencing life in this way due to what took place during their formative years. This may have been a time when they missed out on the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.

Back In Time

Throughout this stage of their life, they may have been physically harmed, verbally put down and neglected. If so, they would have been deeply wounded and a number of their developmental needs would have seldom if ever been met.

They would have often felt helpless and hopeless and they were helpless and hopeless. To handle what was going on, how they felt and a number of their needs would have been repressed and they would have gone into a disconnected and collapsed physical state.

Frozen In Time

With this in mind, they would have spent years in an environment where they were powerless and this would have caused them to develop a deep sense that they were powerless. It then won’t matter that they are no longer in this environment and are no longer powerless, as a big part of them will be stuck at this stage of their life.

Thanks to what they went through, they are going to have pain to face and work through and unmet development needs to experience. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk