If one had a mark on a wall in their house they could find out why this mark has appeared or they could simply paint over it. What they decide to do can all depend on whether they know why the mark has appeared and/or if they are into home improvement.
One may decide to just paint over the mark and that could be the end of it; the mark never appears again and one can forget all about it. Yet, there is also the chance that his approach won’t work, and this could be because the mark is being caused by a leak.
A Closer Look
What this means, is that one will need to put their paint brush to one side and to find out where the leak is. If this doesn’t take place, the wall is going to get worse, and this is because the amount of water that is coming in is likely to increase.
However, even though this is what one will need to do in order to put an end to the damage that is being done (and to make sure further damage doesn’t occur), it doesn’t mean it will take place. One could continue to paint over the mark and convince themselves that they have taken care of the problem.
They can then put their mind to rest, and when the mark appears once more, they can simply do the same thing. One then doesn’t have the need to take a closer look; they can just apply a short-term solution.
This means that they won’t need to put in much effort and this will cause them a lot less hassle than they would experience if they were to deal with the real problem. But while this will allow them to carry on with their life in the short-term, it may set them up to experience bigger problems in the long-term.
When the problem first appeared, they would have been focused on doing everything they can to remove it. They wouldn’t have thought about whether removing the mark was the best option.
What they wanted to do was to carry on with their life as it was, and this meant that painting over the problem would have been the perfect option. There was no need for them to unsettle the rest of their life, and they could keep doing what they have always been doing.
Facing the Problem
In this example, it is clear to see that painting over the wall was the wrong approach, and that one needed to fix the leak. This would have meant that one would have had to put in more work in the short-term, but in the long-term it would have meant that less work would have been needed.
As a result of this, the discomfort they would have experienced would soon be over, and they would be able to get on with their life. Through avoiding the problem, they would have experienced less discomfort in the short-term but more discomfort in the long-term.
This is not the only area of life where someone can apply a short-term solution as opposed to taking a closer look at what is taking place. If someone has mental and/or emotional challenges, for instance, they can end up looking for a quick fix.
When this happens, they are not going to look at why they are having certain thoughts and/or why they feel the way they do. Instead, they will end up being drawn to things that allow them to feel better.
While this wont deal with the real problem and allow them to truly let go of the reason why they are experiencing life as they are; it will allow them to carry on with their life. For example, if someone lives in an unhealthy environment and they end up feeling depressed, it is clear to see that they need to move somewhere else.
However, if they were to see a doctor, they might end up being put on some kind of antidepressants. In this case, the time has not been taken to find out about this person’s life, and they are being treated as though they are separate from their environment.
A Deeper Look
When it comes to a situation where someone wants to feel different or to change their thoughts, they might end up trying to cover up what is taking place within them. And while their external environment will be playing a part, it may also relate to what is taking place at a deeper level.
But instead of going deeper and facing the pain that is within, they can look for ways to decorate their false self. One is then going to avoid the pain they need to face to embrace their true self, and they will do everything they can to maintain the part of them that needs to go.
This can then mean that one will learn about self development, and while this can used by someone to find their true self, it can also be used to avoid it. For example, if one suffers from ‘low self-esteem’ they can start to use affirmations or to engage in positive thinking.
And while this may put them on the right track, it may cause them to have an inflated sense of self. One is then going to come across as though they are out of touch with reality and their own humanity, and it will be clear to see that they don’t have a grounded sense of their value.
While they will have moments where they feel on top of the world, they are also going to have moments where they come crashing back down. In the beginning, they might not notice how destructive their behaviour is on others, but as time passes it will be all too evident.
Another approach would be for them to face how they feel and to process their emotions. If one has low self-esteem, for instance, it may be a sign that they are carrying toxic shame.
Therefore, one will need to face their toxic shame until the charge begins to discharge, and for their inherent worth to be affirmed. When this happens, one won’t need to elevate themselves, and this is because they will have found their true self.
If one needs to work on this, or anything else for that matter, they can be assisted by a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.