False-Self: Do You End Up Playing A Role When You Are Around Others?

When one spends time around others, they could find that they generally behave how they want to behave. This is then going to show that they don’t feel as though they have to behave in a certain way.

One way of looking at this would be to say that one will be able to express their true-self, and this will make it easier for them to have a fulfilling existence. However, if they do end up playing a role, it could be something that only takes place from time to time.

For Example

One could be in a new environment and it might then be necessary for them to act in a certain way. Yet after a while, they could soon let go of the role and allow who they are to be revealed.

This could also take place when one spends time with their family, and this would show that it makes their life a lot easier when they do this. Perhaps they have tried to be themselves, but when this happens it just creates drama, for instance.

A Choice

As they are able to be themselves when it comes to the other areas of their life, it could mean that this is something that doesn’t have a big effect on their life. What this could also show is that they don’t spend a lot of time with them.

It is then a case of one putting on act around them and having them in their life, or they could be themselves and it could set them up to experience pain. Now, this is not to say that they will be putting up with abuse, as this is unlikely to be the case.

Day-To-Day Life

When they are able to be themselves, it will be a sign that they are in touch with their feelings and needs. These two aspects will play a big part in how they behave around other people.
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Thus, when it comes to the people that one spends time with, they will know who they are. Due to this, there is a strong chance that one’s relationships will be authentic, and this is going mean that they are life-affirming.

Opposite Sex

This is something that will also have a positive effect on their intimate relationships, and this is because they won’t try to be someone else. Therefore, when they meet someone for the first time, they won’t end up deceiving them.

So if the other person responds well to them, there will be the chance that it’s because they like them for who they are. And if they don’t like them for who they are, then this will save them a lot of time.

Comfortable

When one can be themselves in life, it is going to mean that they feel safe enough to do so. This can then be something that just happens, and there will be no need for them to think about how they experience life.

There is the chance that they have been this for as long as they can remember, or there may have been a time when they experienced life differently. The life they lead could then be radically different to how it used to be.

A Rare Occurrence

When one doesn’t feel comfortable enough to be themselves when they are around others, they could find that they always end up playing a role. Or this could mean that there are times when they can be themselves, but this will be a something that doesn’t happen very often.

One could find that they need to be by themselves in order for their true-self to appear, and this is going to have a negative effect on their life. But regardless of whether one can reveal their true-self from time to time or if this only happens when they in their own company, it is naturally going to cause them to feel as though they have no control over their life.

Relationships

When they are around others, they could end up playing a role, and it could then appear to be something that just happens. Still, the role that they play could all depend on who they are with.

If they are with one friend, they could come across as funny, but if they are with another, they could end up acting shy. But although this will cause them to feel restricted, it is likely to be what allows them to be approved of.

Intimate Relationships

They will then have other people in their life, but they will still feel cut-off, and this is to be expected. The people they spend time with don’t know who they are; they simply know the role that they play.

When it comes to meeting someone to share their life with, they are also likely to find that they act in a certain way. As a result, they are not going to know who they are either, and their love life is not going to be very fulfilling.

A Deeper Look

Ultimately, one is here to be themselves and not to play a role, and so if this is not possible, it is a sign that something isn’t right. What this can show is that one’s younger years were a time when it wasn’t safe for them to express their true-self.

During this time, one may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect, and this would have caused their true-self to go into hiding. Playing a role is then something that causes them to suffer but it is what feels safe.

Awareness

If one can relate to this, then they may need to reach out for the support of a therapist. This can be a time where one will be looking at what is taking place in their mind and their body.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk