Based on how a man comes across, he might appear to have more in common with a superhero than a human being. The reason for this is that he might not just be somewhat masculine, he could be exceptionally masculine.
Due to this, it might not matter where he is or who he is with, as he could stand out. There is going to be how he looks and how he behaves, with both of these elements playing a key part in the image that he projects.
The First Part
When it comes to the first part, he could have a muscular physique, one or a number of tattoos, and a number of piercings. Along with this, he could largely wear tight-fitting clothes that show off his physique and tank tops.
Furthermore, he could have a number of material items that also support this image such as a sports car or a big 4x4. As for where he lives, he might have a big house.
The Second Part
When it comes to the second part, he could typically come across as confident and stoic, with it appearing as though he is not fazed by anything. At other times, he could be aggressive and domineering.
During the moments when he is around his friends, he could generally be the one who takes the lead and directs others. He is then rarely if ever going to take his hands off the reins and be led by another or others.
A Big Presence
If he uses social media, he might have a big following. Thanks to this, he could receive a lot of positive feedback and support from both men and women.
This can be somewhere he will talk about how a man should behave and criticise men who don’t behave in a certain way. He might even sell products that are designed to make men into his idea of what they should be like.
His Real Self
One way of looking at how he behaves would be to say that this is just what he is like. Therefore, even though he is very masculine, this is not an act; he is merely expressing who he is.
At the same time, there is a chance that there is far more to it than this. If this is the case, how he comes across is not going to be an expression of who he really is.
However, this doesn’t mean that he will be consciously choosing to hide who he is and to come across as someone that he is not. No, he could be completely oblivious to what is going on.
If he was to no longer dress in the same way, behave in the same way, have the same material items and receive the same feedback, then, he could soon be deeply agitated. This will be a sign that the pain that he has been avoiding is starting to enter his conscious awareness.
A Closer Look
At this point, it could seem strange as to why he has such a strong need to be seen as masculine and why he wouldn’t be aware of this. What this can show is that his early years were not very nurturing.
This may have been a time when both his mother and his father were emotionally unavailable. If so, his mother wouldn’t have been able to truly be there for him and neither would his father.
When it comes to his father, he might not have been around much and when he was, he might have been critical and physically abusive. Thus, his father wouldn’t have been able to accept him as he was; he would have needed him to be a certain way.
In other words, his father wouldn’t have allowed him to be vulnerable and express other parts of himself; he had to be strong, brave, disciplined and control himself. But, while he would have become who his father wanted him to be and lost himself in the process, this wouldn’t have allowed him to truly be loved by his father.
The pain that he experienced by being deprived would have ended up being repressed by his brain. Along with this, his unmet developmental needs and parts of himself that were not seen as acceptable would have also been repressed.
This is why, although many, many years will have passed since he was a powerless and dependent boy, he will still be hiding himself and putting on an act. Without realising it, he will still be trying to receive his father’s love and this brain will do what it can to make sure he doesn’t become aware of what is really going on, so that he can keep it together and function.
The Past is Present
At a deeper level, he won’t be aware of the fact this stage of his life is over and that it is too late for him to receive his father’s love. This part of him will have no sense of time and it won’t be able to see.
Consequently, it will cause him to project his father onto certain men, with this causing him to struggle for something that can’t be attained. This struggle will also help to stop him from having to face how he felt all those years ago.
If he was no longer able to struggle and came into contact with his true feelings, he is likely to feel helpless, hopeless and worthless. He would then be in a very deep emotional hole and nothing like the super masculine being that he was before.
Taking this into account, what this illustrates is that he is not trying to convince anyone else of how masculine he is he is trying to convince himself, and, as a result of his early experiences, being masculine means being loved and not being masculine means being rejected. The positive feedback that he receives from others serves as an additional defence to keep his true feelings at bay.
If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.