Father Wounds: Can A Man Abandon Himself If He Had An Unavailable Father?

Although a man will have been given life and his life is important, it doesn’t mean that he will realise this. In general, he could act as though both he and his life are not important.
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As a result of this, he is likely to lead a life that is anything but fulfilling and he could typically just go through the motions. When it comes to his life, he could see it as something that he has to endure as opposed to enjoy.
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A Very Different Experience

So, compared with those men who are out there embracing life, this won’t be something that he is able to relate to. If he was to come across a man who is like this, he might feel inspired by what he sees.

Then again, he could be indifferent to how he experiences life and have no interest in living in the same way. Simply getting out of bed each day could take a lot of effort and this may mean that he has a job that pays the bills but not much else.

Totally Flat

This will illustrate that he doesn’t have a great deal of energy and so he will only do what he has to do to survive. Therefore, he might not exercise or even do a great deal of walking.

As for his diet, he could typically eat things that make him feel better in the short term but a lot worse in the long term. He may also drink a lot to help him feel better and to handle the life that he leads.

Another Area

When it comes to his relationships, he might not have many close friends and only have what could be classed as associates. If this is the case, it will mean that these people won’t have his back, so to speak.

He will share certain things with them, but there won’t be a great deal of depth or intimacy. Alternatively, if he does have people in his life who are supportive and encouraging, it doesn’t mean that this will have much of an impact on him.

Blocked

These people will then have his back and want him to do well in life and to be happy but he won’t be able to take in the good that is around him. He could think about the things that they say to him or he could just dismiss it straight away.

So, not only will he be in a very low place, often feeling low and depressed, but he won’t have the desire to do anything about it. What this will illustrate is that he is not his own best friend; he is his own worst enemy.

Stepping Back

If he was able to get to the point where he has had enough of living a miserable existence, he could wonder why he is this way. He will see that he has been given the gift of life but it doesn’t feel like a gift.

Moreover, he may see that part of him would be happy to go to sleep and never wake up again. The will to live won’t be there or at least not in a big way and this will prevent him from doing what he needs to do to transform his life.

What’s going on?

If he was to look back on his life, he may find that he has been this way for as long as he can remember. Based on how he behaves, it could be said that a big part of him has given up.

This part of him doesn’t feel valuable or worthy of having a fulfilling life. To understand why he would be this way, it will be necessary for him to take a closer look at what took place during his early years.

Back In Time

What this may show is that his early years were a time when his father was either not around or around but not emotionally present. If the latter took place, it would have meant that he wouldn’t have provided him with the nutrients that he needed to grow and develop in the right way.

He would have missed out on his father’s affirmation, something that would have played a part in him being able to feel valuable and loved. Being emotionally abandoned by his father would have set him up to abandon himself.

The Message

Most likely, his father had his own issues, which was why he was unable to truly be there for him. But as he was egocentric at this stage of his life, he would have personalised what took place.

It was then not that his father couldn’t be there for him because of his own issues; it was that there was something inherently wrong with him. Thus, what was going on externally was internalised and played a part in the formation of his self-image.

The Truth

In likelihood, his father’s father was unable to truly be there for him when he was growing up. The past was then repeated as his father, for whatever reason, was unable to deal with the harm that was done to him.

What the man will need to bear in mind is that what took place was not a reflection of his value and it wasn’t his fault. Ultimately, he and his life are important but, to realise this at the core of his being, he will probably need to work through his emotional wounds.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk