In general, a man could find that it is hard for him to relax and just be. As a result of this, he is going to spend a lot of time on the go and this is going to mean that he is often in doing mode.
Now, this could mean that he is a workaholic but there is also the chance that this is not the case. Either way, he is rarely going to sit still, causing him to live what could be described as a fast-paced life.
A Long List
If his life doesn’t revolve around his job, it could mean that he has a number of different interests that consume his time. He could spend a lot of time seeing friends, exercising, travelling and trying out different things.
If he does settle down, it could be because it is that time of the day when he has to go to sleep. This doesn’t mean that it will be easy for him to fall asleep, though, as it could typically be a challenge.
During this time, his mind could be all over the place and he could feel agitated. This will stop him from being able to be in his body and to simply surrender.
But, as he spends most of his day doing things and rarely if ever relaxes, this is not going to be much of a surprise. To go from living in this way to lying in a bed and doing nothing will be a massive shift.
If his friends were to describe what he is like, they could say that he is full of energy and is more or less always in a good mood. Along with this, they could say that he is fairly easy-going and only too happy to go along with most things.
There could be moments when he feels very anxious and even fearful. When he feels this way, he could soon find something that will consume his attention and push this information out of his conscious awareness.
If he was to take a break and go abroad, for instance, he might not be very different. His time could be filled with activities and his mind could be filled with what he plans to do when he gets home.
The only time he might be able to relax could be if he was to drink something. Yet, even if this was to take place, it will have been artificially induced and it could be said that his whole being won’t truly be relaxed.
Out of Balance
At this point, it will be clear that he is a human be-ing, but he will be more like a human do-ing. Living in this way is going to take a lot out of him and, as time passes, he might end up having a breakdown.
Then again, he might have already had at least one moment when he was totally exhausted and unable to leave his bed. Still, he might have just carried on as normal after this and not made any changes.
If he was able to step back and reflect on his behaviour, he may find that he has been this way for as long as he can remember. But as opposed to seeing how he lives as being destructive, he could say that life is to be lived and sitting around is no fun.
This will then be something that is black and white and based on what he believes; he will be living in the right way. What this doesn’t change is the fact that he is unable to relax and to simply be, something that is an essential part of being able to recharge and receive.
Back In Time
What this may show is that his early years were not very nurturing and he lived in an environment that wasn’t very harmonious. His father may have been physically and verbally abusive.
Thus, instead of protecting and providing his son with the safety and security that he needed to be able to grow and develop, he would have greatly traumatised him. This would have meant that he didn’t feel safe enough to relax and just be; he had to be on guard and on edge at all times.
Being in his feminine and just be-ing would have been seen as a threat to his survival, so he had to be constantly in his masculine and be in do-ing mode. This would have allowed him to feel safer but it wouldn’t have allowed him to receive.
His sympathetic nervous system would have been activated for most of this stage of his life and this will continue to be the case now that he is an adult. Being this way wouldn’t have stopped his father from harming him but it would have given him a sense of control and perhaps minimised the number of times that he was harmed by him.
An Undermining Effect
Being harmed by his father would have deeply wounded him and spending so much time in this highly activated state would have done the same. He would have automatically been pushed out of his body and lost touch with his emotional self, with this being the only way for him to stop himself from being overwhelmed.
Ultimately, his early years were a time when he had to use most of his energy to survive, leaving him with very little energy with which to grow and develop in the right way. Many, many years will have passed since he was a powerless and dependent child but a big part of him won’t have left this early environment.
If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.