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Father Wounds: Can A Mother Use Her Sons Father To Emasculate Him?

30/10/2023

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If a man is in touch with his power, he will be able to be assertive, take action, and to stand up for himself. This will show that he has a strong connection with his body as this is where his power will be found.

Of course, his mind will provide him with a certain level of power but the power that this part of him gives him will pale in comprising to the power that is found in his lower body. One way of looking at it will be to say that this mind will give him the ability to plan his life while his body will give him the power to make these plans a reality.

Connected

By being this way, then, he is going to be an embodied human being. This will allow him to experience a sense of wholeness and give him access to all of his inner resources.

Now, this could be how he has been for most of his life, with it being hard for him to imagine what it would be like for him to be any other way. Conversely, there might have been a time when his life was very different.

A Sense of Gratitude

Due to this, he could be deeply thankful that his life is radically different and he is no longer in this position. It could be a number of months or even years since his life was this way.

However, while there are men who are in their power and men who have had to connect to their power, there are men who are not only not in their power but who don’t realise this. If a man is in this position, his life is going to be anything but fulfilling but he won’t be won’t do anything about it.

A Bleak Existence

By being this way, it will be a challenge for him to assert himself, take action and to stand up for himself. He is likely to spend a lot of time in his head, with him typically being estranged from his body.

If this is so, he will have a lot going on in his head but his body will be starved of energy and attention. In fact, this part of him could generally be cold and numb.

Lop Sided

As he will spend so much time up top, then, he won’t have a sense of wholeness and he won’t have access to a number of his inner resources. Not being grounded in his body can mean that he will often experience anxiety and fear.

This might not be the only way in which he suffers, though, as he could often feel very low and depressed. If he was to think about his life, he could think about how fed up he is when it comes to just about every area of his life.

No Choice

Still, he can believe that this is just what his life is like and there isn’t anything that he can do. He might even believe that someone or something ‘out there’ is against him and wants him to suffer.

Ultimately, he will be beaten down and he might question if he has the strength to continue for much longer. This could show that he doesn’t have any close friends and that the people in his life undermine him in a variety of different ways.

Stepping Back

If a part of him was to question why his life is this way, he could come to the conclusion that he was just born this way. But, even if he was to come to this conclusion, it doesn’t mean that is the truth.

In all likelihood, what took place during his formative years is what caused him to disconnect from his body and lose touch with his power. This may have been a time when both his mother and his father undermined him, with both of these people being deeply wounded human beings.

Back In Time

His mother may have generally been cold, cruel, and controlling, while his father may have generally been passive, controlled and physically abusive. If this was the case, his mother would have largely controlled his father like a puppet master controls a puppet.

If he didn’t do what his mother wanted and even if he did, his father might have soon physically harmed him. As a result of this, he wouldn’t have been able to look towards his mother or his father to protect him.

All Alone

His early environment would then have been like a war zone but he would have been totally defenceless. So, a stage of his life when he needed to be loved, supported and protected, was a stage when he was not loved, supported or protected.

He would have been deeply wounded, and, as he was powerless and totally dependent, he wouldn’t have been able to fight back or find a family who could love him. His only option was to disconnect from how he felt and a number of his needs and to go into a frozen and physically collapsed state.

Self-Alienation

This would have separated him from his body and his power but if this hadn’t taken place, the pain and arousal that he experienced would have probably killed him. With this in mind, what he is like as an adult, as disempowering as it is, is a defence against the pain and arousal that is held in his brain and body.

Facing and working through this inner material will allow him to gradually get back into his body and reconnect to this power. This is something that will take courage and patience and persistence.

Awareness

If a man can relate to this and he is ready to change his life, he may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer. 

If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk
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    Oliver JR Cooper

    Author of 28 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.


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    Disclaimer
    That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.





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    Inner Child - How To Heal Your Inner Child
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    Mother-Enmeshed Man – How To No Longer Be A Mother-Enmeshed Man
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