Fear Of Death: Can Childhood Trauma Cause Someone To Have A Fear Of Death?

It could be said that just about everyone on this planet has a fear of death; however, this doesn’t mean that just about everyone is paralysed by this fear and unable to freely live life. When someone is in this position, deep down, they can have a fear of death but, in general, it won’t affect their life.

As a result of this, they will be able to leave their home, go to work, travel, try different things, have a fulfilling relationship and speak to “strangers”, for example. Now, this is not to say that it won’t be possible for someone like this to push themselves further, though.

Limited

Like everyone else on this planet, they will have an ego-mind that associates what is familiar with what is safe. Due to this, as free as they will be, they will still be restricted by the part of them that just wants to keep them safe.

By understanding this part of them and seeing it as being there to protect, not harm, they will be able to experience even more freedom and to express even more of their true essence.

Another Reality

There are going to be others who will be more or less paralysed by this fear, which will stop them from being able to live freely. Thanks to this, each day of their life can merely be about surviving, not thriving.

Still, this is not to say that this is something that they will be consciously aware of; it can be something that is just outside of their awareness. Even so, it will be something that is defining their life, and will continue to do so until they become aware of it and take the necessary steps.

How It Looks

When it comes to their life, then, they may or may not leave their home very often, they could have a job that is totally soul-destroying but not do anything about it, they may or may not travel, they may have a relationship that doesn’t fulfil them and they might rarely, if ever, talk to “strangers”, for example. If they do push themselves out of their comfort zone, it could be the exception.

By living this way, they might often feel frustrated, helpless and deeply depressed. Although they will be playing a part in how they are experiencing life, it can seem as if they have no control over their life and are nothing more than a victim.

One Purpose

Their ego-mind, won’t allow them to be as free as the person above, causing them to live in what could be described as an invisible prison. What is classed as safe to this part of them will relate to living in a way that is severely limited.

This part of them is there to keep them alive, not to make their life a misery, and while it will do that, it won’t do much else. What this part of them believes that they need to do to survive will make it extremely difficult for them to live a life that is filled with love, joy, freedom and growth.

A Closer Look

At this point, it can seem strange as to why this part of one’s being would be this way. It could be said that as they are going to die at one point or another anyway, they are simply wasting the life that they have been given.

Also, it could be said that their fear of living is stronger than their fear of dying. If this wasn’t the case, they would be out there living life to the full, perhaps while doing their best not to die, as opposed to watching their life go by.

Going Deeper

Although it may seem as though their greatest fear is living, there is a strong chance that how they live is seen, at a deeper level, as the only way for them to survive. If they were to no longer behave in the same way and freely express themselves, they could soon end up feeling as though they are going to die.

This could be a time when they will experience a lot of fear and anxiety and feel totally helpless and as though they have no control. Additionally, they can be overwhelmed by physical and emotional pain. 

What going on?

What this can show is that they were often neglected during their early years and this would have greatly traumatised them. Whenever this took place, they would have been overwhelmed with pain and felt like they were going to die and their only option would have been to repress how they felt.

This may have been something that took place whenever they displeased their caregivers and for no apparent reason. By not receiving the love and care that they needed to grow and develop, they would have stayed in a developmentally stunted state.

The Message

In addition to this, these experiences would have taught them that they needed to please others and behave in a certain way, in order to survive. So, as an adult, if they are in a relationship, they may lose themselves in this person and practically always do what they want.

Unconsciously, they will view this person as their parent and it will be essential for them to keep them around. If they were to leave and one was unable to find someone or something else to keep their pain at bay, they would have to embrace how they felt all those years ago.

Awareness

The truth is that what they fear has always taken place and they survived. Nonetheless, for them to realise this at an emotional level, they will need to face and work through their pain.

This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer. Most likely this won’t be something that is over in a few months, it could take many years but it will be worth it. 

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk