Fear Of Death: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Fear That They Will Die?

Although someone can have a strong fear that they are going to die, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. Now, of course, everyone on this planet is going to die at some point.

But, there is a big difference between this simply being a part of life and it being something that makes it hard for someone to live. In the first instance, this will seldom cross their mind and in the second, even if they are not aware of it, it will make it hard for them to function.

Their Life

So, assuming that this is what is going on deep down but it hasn’t entered their conscious awareness yet, it can mean that they will often experience a fair amount of fear and anxiety. At times, what is going on inside them could build up even more and they could experience panic.

When this happens, it will be as if their life is going to come to an end and there is absolutely nothing that they can do. They are then going to spend a lot of time feeling hopeless and helpless.

One Area

If they have a job, they could spend a lot of time worrying that they will end up losing it sooner or later. What could often enter their mind is that they will be fired for not doing something right or that someone who is better will replace them.

As a result of this, they are likely to find it hard to relax and, at times, to focus on what they are doing. There is the chance that they have been fired or let go from at least one job that they have had.

A Tough Time

If so, this may have been a time when they were in a very bad way and thought it would only be a matter of time before they would have nowhere to live and nothing to eat or drink.  Fortunately, however, they would have soon found another job and this would have allowed them to partly, if not fully, settle down.

Still, while this will be behind them, it is likely to always be at the back of their mind and something that they feel a strong need to avoid. It might not matter if they enjoy what they do or ever have, as this won’t be high on their list of priorities.

Another Area

If they are in a relationship, they could also do whatever they can to make sure that this doesn’t come to an end. Once again, it might not matter if this relationship is very fulfilling as their need to avoid being alone will take precedence.

There is the chance that they have more or less always been in a relationship, which will have made it easier for them to keep a lid on a lot of the painful material that is inside them. If they were to think about a stage of their life when they were single, they could remember that this was a time when they were all at sea.

Stepping Back

If they were to get to the stage where they were able to mentally detach from what is going on, they might wonder what is going on. They could struggle to understand why they experience so much fear and anxiety and feel so unstable.

If they were to reach out for external support, they could end up being told that their thoughts and feelings are irrational. Furthermore, it could be put forward to them that changing their ‘negative’ thoughts and beliefs will be the way for them to move forward.

Another Route

This advice can be seen as a natural outcome of living in a society that is mind-centric. The mind is then the focus and what is going on at a deeper level is rarely if ever taken into consideration.

Another way of looking at this would be to say that it doesn’t take into account one’s history or the fact that they are carrying repressed pain. It is the equivalent of believing that not only is the top of a weed the problem but that removing this part will cause the weed to be removed.

Going Deeper

If they were to go beyond what is taking place at the level of their mind and connect to their body, what they may find is that they fear that they are going to die. This will explain why their life is the way that it is as death will be seen as imminent.

So much of their time and energy will then be spent trying to stop this from taking place and to allow them to survive. Yet, while this might also seem like an irrational fear, there is the chance that they continually felt as though they were going to die throughout their developmental years.

A Brutal Time

Practically from the moment they were born, they may have often been left and when they were given attention, it might have largely been misattuned care. Naturally, as they were in an underdeveloped state and needed their caregiver’s presence and love to be able to survive; being left would have greatly wounded them.

Being left would have caused them to be overwhelmed with pain and it would have felt as though their life was going to come to an end. The only option was for their brain to automatically repress how they felt and for them to go into a shut down, collapsed, frozen and disconnected state.

It’s over

Without realising it, thanks to what happened being outside of their conscious awareness, they will have been projecting their past onto their present. It is then not that they were left and they felt that they were going to die; it is that they will be left and they will die.

Ultimately, what took place will be over but the pain and arousal that they experienced will be held inside their brain and body. Until a certain amount of this pain and arousal are dealt with, they won’t know that this stage of their life has come to an end.

Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk