Although each one of us has a body, it doesn’t mean that everyone feels that it is safe to be in their body. It might even sound confusing as to how this could be; especially as one’s body is a big part of who they are.
Instead of one being in their body, what they can end up doing is living in their head. This is not something that one usually chooses to do at conscious level; it is something that can happen as a result of certain experiences occurring in their life.
To be stuck in one’s head is one experience that someone can have, as is the experience of being outside one’s body. This is typically described as dissociation and this can create the illusion of being outside of oneself.
But whether it is being in one’s head or outside one’s body, or both depending on the situation, it is not going to make life very enjoyable. It can cause one to be cut off from their emotions and unable to use these to manage their life.
Or they could go to the other extreme as a rule or at certain times, and become consumed by their emotions and feelings. When this happens, it will be more or less impossible to think properly and to do such things as: planning, organising and being on time for meetings or appointments.
One is then stuck in their emotional brain or they are stuck in their survival brain for instance; instead of being able to use these two together, along with their thinking brain.
And while as human beings we often live in a house or flat and call that our home, there is another place that is our true home. And without one feeling at home in their body, it is likely to be a real challenge for someone to feel at home anywhere.
The disconnection that they have with their own body is also going to be experienced as an outer disconnection. What is going on internally is going to be reflected in ones external reality. This can then go onto include the feeling that one doesn’t belong on the planet.
So having the feeling of being connected to the earth and supported is not going to be there or if it is there, it will not be a consistent experience. Instead, one can feel cut off from life and as if their head is in the clouds.
Here, one won’t experience life as a participator; they will experience life as an observer. As someone who is looking in from the outside and as nothing more than a bystander. To be an observer is of course an important ability to have, but not as a way of life.
Life might then be something that one can’t fully engage with and embrace. What it is for this person is something that they must endure and face. Survival is something that they can relate to and thriving is then nothing more than a fancy word.
One might be able to become aware of their needs and wants during certain times, but to be able to do this on consistent basis, one needs to live in their body. So instead of one knowing what they truly need and want, they can end up being caught up in other peoples need and wants.
This is often classed as being a people pleaser or an approval seeker. But if one doesn’t feel safe in their body it means that they don’t feel safe to be themselves. And so following others can appear to be the only option available that is safe.
But this doesn’t just include big decisions that one makes or things that could put them in the spotlight, it can cover just about everything. In order for one to stand their ground and to go after their own dreams in life, they will need to feel safe enough to do so.
When it comes to one going on a long journey and knowing that they will be able to complete the journey, it will be imperative that they have a reliable car. Without this they might not make the whole trip or if they do, it could be one that is full of unnecessary problems.
And one’s body is very similar to having a car that works. The body, like the car, is the vehicle that one travels through life with. The driver can do what they need to by having a car; without the car the driver is not going to get very far.
Having a mind is one thing, but without a body, ones experience of life is not going to be too pleasant. This doesn’t mean that one has to lose their body in a physical sense, as one can have a body and yet experience life as if they haven’t got one.
So being in the body allows one to experience a life that includes: emotion, connection, pleasure, peace, comfort and of being in the present moment. And being in one’s head or above it, can lead to the complete opposite of these.
For some people, being out of their body will be how it has been for their whole life. Through being like this for so long, one might not even know that this is not how it should be. And for others, this will be a relatively new occurrence.
To leave the body is normal when it has become too painful to be there. And living in one’s head is a natural consequence of an emotional build up in the body. Another description that is used for trapped emotions is trauma. When emotions are not allowed to be released, they end up staying in the body.
So this could be the result of an experience that was extremely traumatic or an accumulation of experiences that had the same effect. Ones adult years and well as their childhood could be where the answers lie to these questions.
Adult trauma can be easier to pin point, but when it comes to childhood trauma, the mind can forgot and yet the body will never forget. How the body shows this could confusing though and not be the easiest thing to understand; especially if one’s mind has come to the conclusion that these symptoms are normal and how life is.
These trapped feelings and emotions will need to be released from one’s body in order for them to feel safe there. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist of a healer who allows one to feel them and gradually release them.
How long this process takes can depend on how much of a build up one has and how safe they feel with the therapist or healer. If one feels safe and is able to let go, change can happen faster than if one doesn’t feel that it is safe for them to let go. So finding the right therapist or healer will be the key.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.