Although feelings can be overlooked and seen as being unimportant, they are a vital part of who we are. They allow us to know what we need and want in each moment of our life, amongst other things. When someone is unaware of how they are feeling, they are disconnected from themselves.
Through knowing how one feels, it will allow them to move towards what it is they want in each moment and from life in general, and to move away from what they don’t want in each moment and from their life in general.
When one is out of touch with how they feel, it is highly likely that they will do things they don’t really want to do and end up in situations that are unhealthy or even dangerous.
Now, one might be aware of when they are ignoring their feelings or it could be something they are completely oblivious to. And if one ignored them, it won’t matter if they are aware of them or not, as the outcome is going to be the same.
Another thing that could happen is that one becomes aware of how they feel afterwards. At the time they don’t listen to their feelings, but once the situation is over, they are only too aware of what they were feeling.
This could cause someone to become a ‘follower’. They are out of touch with their true feelings and so they will typically end up doing what other people want. And as they are disconnected from their true self; this is not much of a surprise.
What this can also lead to is someone who comes across as a ‘leader’. This is not to say that this is someone who is in touch with their true feelings; it simply means that they don’t give off the impression that they follow others.
But if one is out of touch with their true feelings, it won’t matter if they are a leader or a follower, as they won’t be living an authentic life.
The follower can be someone who only feels safe and in control when they are doing what other people want. In this case, they can be aware of their feelings, it’s just that they don’t listen to them.
Even though the leader could be completely out of touch with their true feelings, their feelings still drive them. These feelings are not likely to tell them what they need or want; what they will do is cause them to feel powerless or overwhelmed. In this case, they only feel safe and in control when they ignore how they feel.
Both people can have feelings that they want to avoid, it is just that one person is more aware of the feelings that are informing them of what they want and need, and the other person is aware of feelings that are painful.
Out Of Touch
So whether one is a ‘follower’ and not going along with what is right for them, or a ‘leader’ who appears to be doing what they want, they are both in the same position. This means that while one person can be seen as unsuccessful and the other as successful, they are still out of touch with their true feelings.
And this is going to stop them from being able to express their true self. Other people might see their behaviour as being who they are, but it is just a false self. While one may be used to it and have come to believe it is who they are, it is still an illusion.
The First Person
For the person who ignores their feelings and does what other people want, there is the chance that they are going to feel angry and frustrated about how things are. They could also end up feeling powerless and hopeless.
But while they don’t want to act in these ways, it can be something that just happens. And though ignoring their feelings, they can also feel drained and that they have no energy. Living the life that one wants to live, could be replaced by living a life that someone else wants.
The Second Person
As this person ignores their feelings, they could come across as reckless or dangerous for instance. Other people could see them as lacking empathy and as being control freaks or tyrants. If they were to listen to their feelings, they would soon feel out of control.
And this is because they have a build up of painful feelings in their body. They can not only feel disconnected from themselves, but also from others. In the eyes of others, they could be seen as strong and successful, but this can just mask the pain that they feel.
This person can have problems with energy and feeling alive, but this is usually dealt with through engaging in extreme sports, drugs, alcohol or a life that is filled with drama for instance.
It will be important for the person who ignores their feelings to feel that it is safe for them to listen to them. And what happened in their childhood could be why they don’t feel safe. One may have been abandoned, rejected, or harmed if they didn’t do what other people wanted.
And as these associations still exist in one’s body today, they stop them from being able to live their truth. For the person who is disconnected from their feelings, it will be important for them to release the emotional baggage that they carry.
As this emotional pain is released, one will begin to form a better connection to their feelings. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.