When one does something for another and they are grateful, it is going to create a better impression than if they were ungrateful. This response if likely to endear them to the giver and it could mean that the other person is only too happy to offer their hand in the future.
And the same could be said when one shows gratitude in their own life, and this doesn’t have to be aimed at anyone in particular. It could just be a general sense of appreciation for how ones life is. This then stops them from grasping and focusing on what they haven’t got, and allows them to value and enjoy what they have got.
Here, one is not in place of resistance, they are in a place of acceptance. Their reality is then going to mirror this back to them and it is going to cause them to experience more of what they are grateful for.
If they are ungrateful, it could cause them to experience tension and then they are going to be focused on what they haven’t got or on how their life could be. It then won’t matter what they have or that they are currently experiencing, as it won’t enough.
And as one is experiencing inner unrest and is unable to accept their life as it is, they are going to attract more experiences that mirror where they are at. One could then end up caught in a vicious cycle and find it difficult to find anything to be grateful for.
There are many ways for people to be happy and some of these ways are healthy and some of these ways are unhealthy. One option may allow one to feel happy for a number of hours and another option may allow one to feel happy for even longer.
When one experiences gratitude, they are likely to experience an increase in their wellbeing. And as this happens, one is going to feel happier. And this is not going to cost them anything and they can experience it whenever they chose to.
All one needs to do is to decide to be grateful; they don’t need to do anything else. This is something that one is in control of and is not in the hands of other people. One doesn’t need to receive permission or the all clear from anyone.
What one places their attention on is going to have an impact on what they attract into their life. So if one spends their time and energy on what they haven’t got, they are not going to be able to focus on what they have got.
And not only that, but it is not going to allow one to feel energised and empowered. Their time and energy is going to be wasted and this is going make it even harder for them to make the changes in life that they need to make.
This is also going to have an effect on ones relationships and how one is perceived by others. If one has a pattern of being ungrateful and is forever complaining about their life, it is unlikely to endear them to other people.
For example, although one person may believe that their life is bad or that they deserve more, in the eyes of another, they could be living the ideal life. They could then wonder how the other person could be so ungrateful and this could cause them to avoid this person in the future.
But if one is grateful, the people they spend their time with are going to notice this. And this is going to be more far appealing than if one was come across as if the world is against them.
The Other Side
However, even though being grateful can enhance one’s life, it can also lead to problems. It can become another form of positive thinking; with one avoiding how they truly feel. It will then lead to repression and one is going to be out of touch with themselves.
If one was to embrace how they feel, they might end up feeling guilty for not being grateful. Being grateful is then not helping them; it is just another way for one to punish themselves.
One may have been brought up to be grateful no matter what was happening to them or whether it was the right thing for them to experience.
Gratitude was then used as a way to exert control and to deny ones emotional experience. And as time passed, one internalised this control and begin to treat themselves how other people treated them.
Just because someone feels ungrateful about a certain area of their life, it doesn’t mean that this has it apply to every area. It simply means that one is facing the reality of how they feel and what is taking place in their life. They are no longer in denial; they are simply being honest with themselves.
And as one is willing to look at what is working in their life and what isn’t, there is more chance that their life will change for the better. Feeling ungrateful can then be sign that one needs to look at what is not working or what needs their attention and not as a sign that they need to feel grateful.
So while it is important to feel grateful, it doesn’t mean that one should become disconnected from how they feel. Feelings don’t just appear, they are there for a reason. And if one is willing to get in touch with their feelings, they will see that they are there to assist them.
And if one is having trouble with their emotions, then it might be necessary for them to seek the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.