If someone has the desire to develop themselves, they can end up getting into self-development. On one hand, this could be something that they only dip their toes into, so to speak, and on the other hand, it could consume their whole life.
When it comes to the former, it could show that one is in a good place, and this is why they don’t need to get too caught up in it. Yet, if they have taken the opposite approach, it could show that this is not the case.
This is then why there is not going to be one way of behaving when it comes to this area of life. It is then similar to how if one person is really hungry; they are going to eat more than the person who isn’t.
At the same time, even though this doesn’t take over one’s life, it doesn’t mean that it’s because their life is going in the right direction. Instead, it could show that they are not willing to commit to their own growth.
And if one’s life was going well, but this one area was to take over, it could show that they are trying to avoid something. Thus, through being so concerned with their own growth, other areas of their life could start to crumble.
A Grey Area
What this shows that even though someone needs to develop themselves, it doesn’t mean they will. In the short-term, it can be easier for them to carry on living in the same way, but as time passes they are likely to pay the price.
And although someone might need to take a step back from this, there is always the chance that they won’t. It might be possible for them to overlook the effect this is having in the beginning, but the more time that passes, the harder this can be.
One Size Fits All
Ultimately, it is going to be down to one to decide what route they will take, and for how long they will behave in this way for. If they are able to take a step back from what is taking place in their life, it will give them the chance to think about what they need to do.
If everyone was the same, there would only be one path to take, and it wouldn’t be necessary for one to decide for themselves. Even so, there are bound to be people who do look towards others when it comes to what they should be doing.
One is then going to put their ability to think to one side, and to rely on what other people have to say. It could then be said that one will be giving their power away, and this is going to make it easy to control them.
Nevertheless, this could be what they feel comfortable with, and there is then going to be no reason for them to change. As far as they are concerned, they could believe that other people always know better than them.
Out of Use
Their ability to think critically (that’s if they have developed this ability), is going to be put to one side. It is then not going to matter what they are told, as they won’t take the time to reflect on if it is the right thing for them to do.
This is then going to be the same as what often happens when someone goes to see their doctor and believes everything they come out with. What they come out with will be seen as the truth, as that’s as far as it will go.
When one has this approach when it comes to self-development, they can go along with everything a teacher says. The mere fact that it has come out of their mouth will be enough to prove that it is valuable.
What they come out with can relate to how one can change their life, and how they should live their life. While the goose produces the golden eggs; they produce information that is golden.
The person they look towards to inform them is going to be a fellow human being. But based on how they see them, it is going to be as if they have placed them on a pedestal.
They are all knowing and in a superior position, and one is going to be very fortunate to listen to what they have to say. As a result of this, this person could come out with anything and it could still be seen as being profound.
One way of looking at this would be to say that one is behaving like child, and the person they are looking up to is being seen as a parent. Perceiving them in this way can be something that causes them to feel safe and connected.
What this can show is that they feel as though something is missing and, through indentifying with a teacher/guru, it allows them to experience inner strength. Before they followed someone like this, there is the chance that they treated certain people in a similar way (and this could still occur).
A Deeper Look
If one was able to look into why they are experiencing life in this way, they may find that their early years were a time when their needs were rarely, if ever, met. Thus, although they look like an adult, they still feel like a vulnerable child.
They are then looking towards the teacher/guru to give them what they didn’t get all those years ago. The trouble is that they are looking for something that another person can’t provide.
It is going to be necessary for one to realise their own inner strength, and this can take place through grieving their unmet childhood needs. The assistance of a therapist may be needed here.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
Self-Love - How To Develop Self-Love And Self-Worth