When one is happy, they can feel the need to share how they feel with others, and this can take place in a number of ways. Perhaps one will be more complimentary than they usually are.
It can then be normal for them to say how good someone looks, or they might talk about how they appreciate what they do for them. They may even focus on a certain trait that they have and tell them how important this is.
Yet even if these kinds of things didn’t take place, they could still have a positive effect on others. This is because other people could simply enjoy being in their presence; with them being able to soak up their positive energy,
Through spending time with them, someone could end up feeling a whole lot better about themselves. Or, they could just find that they add to how they already feel, and this will mean that they won’t take anything away from them.
The Opposite Effect
But while there will be a number of people who are drawn to their energy, there can be others who won’t be. Instead, they can feel repelled by how they come across, and this can then cause them to want to get away.
This could be a sign that they don’t feel very good, and by seeing someone who does, it can make them feel angry. How one comes across can remind one of how bad they feel at this moment in their life.
One Step Further
And although one can make the people around feel better without even trying, they can also extend themselves even further. One could feel the need to do some kind of volunteering or to give money to charity, for instance.
Therefore, it won’t be necessary for someone to be in their local environment in order to benefit from how one feels. This could be how one generally feels, or it could only be something they experience from time to time.
The Other Side
When they don’t feel this way, they might be able to cover up how they feel, and this will typically stop other people from realising what is taking place within them. As a result of this, one is going to have a positive effect on others no matter how they feel.
At the same time, it could be relatively easy for other people to know when their inner world has changed. This can then give other people the opportunity to see if they can do anything to help.
If they cover up how they feel, it may be due to them wanting to sort things out for themselves. One is then not going to want other people to give them sympathy; they will simply want to move forward.
Alternatively, this could show that they don’t feel comfortable showing how they feel, and their behaviour is then motivated by their need to protect themselves. One could then ignore how they feel and pretend that everything is fine.
When one reveals how they feel, it could be a sign that they want other people to give them attention. But if this is not the case, it could just show that they are comfortable showing how they feel.
In this case, one is not trying to gain attention; they are just embracing how they feel. This doesn’t mean that they will reveal how they feel to anyone, as this could just occur around the people they are close to.
One may find that they feel better about themselves and that they are able to take the next step through being around people who take the time to listen to what they are going though. It is the not that they want someone to do anything, it is just that they want them to be there for them.
This is likely to be a lot healthier than if they were to hold in how they feel and to pretend that everything is fine. And through doing this, one is going to be taking responsibility for what is taking place within them.
A Negative Effect
If someone was to feel drained or low after one opened up about what is going on for them, it is not going to be one’s fault. This can show that they ended up absorbing how one felt, as opposed to one going out their way to cause them harm.
However, although one can own how they feel and deal with it themselves or show how they feel with someone they trust, they can also go out of their way to cause harm. As they are suffering, they are going to do what they can to make sure other people suffer too.
This is then going to mean that one won’t own what is taking place within them; they will end up putting other people down. Through doing this, it will give them a momentary release, and one can then feel good about themselves for a short-time.
The trouble is that while this will change their mood, it won’t have a positive effect on their relationships. It could end up pushing people away, or the people who do stay around them could end up feeling bad about themselves.
This might also make it harder for them to improve their life, and this is down to the fact that they will be wasting their energy. Putting other people can change how they feel, but it is unlikely to improve their circumstances.
If one can relate to this and they want to change their behaviour, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist. This will give them to chance to improve their self-awareness to develop the ability to contain how they feel.
They could also be carrying toxic shame, and this will be something that plays a part in their tendency to put other people down. As if they were to change how they feel about themselves, there is a strong chance that they wouldn’t need to behave in the same way.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
To book your free 15-minute consultation, click here.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.