If someone is into self-development, they may have the need to be happy all the time. However, even if this is not something they are into, they may still have the same need.
In this case, they may believe that this is the how they are supposed to experience life, and through having this outlook, they have been drawn to self-development. This could be seen as something that will allow them to fulfil this need.
When one is happy, they are going to feel good, and as a result of this, it is going to be easier for them to enjoy life. Therefore, it could be seen as normal for one to have the desire to always experience life in this way.
They may find that when they are happy, they act in ways that are productive, whereas, when they are unhappy, they may act in ways that are not. This will mean that not only does their state of mind change, their behaviour also changes.
During the moments when they feel bad, they may end up doing things that are harmful, and this is going to give them a greater need to be happy. This might be seen as the only way for them to put an end to their destructive behaviour.
It will then be important for them to take control of how they feel and to make sure they only expedience one side of the emotional spectrum. The other side will be seen as having no part to play in their life.
In The Beginning
If one wants to be happy all the time and they start to read books on self-development, for instance, they may come to believe that positive thinking and affirmations are the answer. Taking control of their mind is then going to be important, and they might not feel the need to do anything else.
They might also end up exercising on a regular basis and look at how they hold themselves. Through exercising, their body will release endorphins and this will cause them to feel good, and through holding themselves in the right way, it will give them the chance to change how they feel.
These are just some of the approaches that one can engage in, and there are many others. If they apply a few of these options or even a number of them, they may start to feel happier, and it might also be possible for them to sustain how they feel.
As a result of this, the people around them may start to show them approval, and this could make them feel even better about themselves. One reason why they offer their approval could be because they want to experience life in the same way.
It might not be long until people start to ask for their advice, and after one tells them what they do, the other person might also end up experiencing life in the same way. In fact, one might go a step further and start to tech others people how to be happy all the time.
However, there is also the chance that one will find it hard to continually feel happy, and this is because challenges are part of life. Having said that, one might just continue to feel happy and to not let anything affect how they feel.
Out of Balance
But even if one is able to maintain how they feel and doesn’t allow themselves to feel unhappy, it doesn’t mean they are not going to experience problems further down the line. The reason for this is that there is a time to be happy and a time to be unhappy, and if one doesn’t embrace both sides, they are going to be out of balance.
If one was happy all the time, they would start to get used to it, and this is because it is only through being able to be unhappy that being happy has any meaning. This is similar to how if the sun was always shining, people would just take it for granted.
In addition to this, one’s feelings are also there to give them feedback, and this means they are not ‘good’ or ‘bad’. Therefore, one will need to pay attention to how they feel and not overlook what is taking place within them.
If they simply cover up how they feel in order to ‘feel good’, their life could end up getting even worse as time passes, and this means they could have more reasons to ‘feel bad’. One might be experiencing ‘positive’ thoughts and feelings, but beyond these inner processes, their life could be in a complete mess.
For example, it is often said that people shouldn’t make decisions when they are happy, and this is because it is not always possible for them to think straight. This is similar to how one is unlikely to be in a position to make a big decision when they are drunk.
It could be said that the ideal will be for one to be in a position where they can embrace how they feel as opposed to having the need to always feel a certain way. As a result of this, it will then be possible for them to use their feelings as feedback.
Through being able to regulate how they feel, they won’t have the need to always feel good. This will also mean that it is possible for them to contain their emotions.
However, if one doesn’t have the ability to contain and regulate their own emotions, they are likely to have a greater need to feel good. When they don’t feel good, they are not going to be able to deal with how they feel, and their feelings are then going to define them.
It can then be normal for them to believe that the answer to their problem is to feel good all the time. It then won’t matter that they can’t contain and regulate how they feel, and this is because they won’t need to.
When one doesn’t have the emotional strength to contain and regulate their emotions, it could be a sign that they were brought up by people who were emotionally unavailable. Through not receiving the attunement they needed to develop this part of themselves, they would have been overwhelmed whenever they experienced ‘negative’ feelings
The only alternative would have been for them to disconnect from these kinds of feelings, and while this would have been better than the other option, it would set them up to experience problems later on. One can then carry a lot of emotional pain, and while this can result in physical problems, it can also set them up to project their ‘dark side’ onto others.
In order for one to develop their ability to contain and regulate their emotions, it will be important for them to reach out for the right assistance. This is likely to be a time where one will need to work through the pain that is within them and receive the attunement that they missed out on all those years ago.
As this takes place, there is a strong chance that one will develop their emotional strength. This is kind of support can be provided by a therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.