When I was on a course in 2009, there were moments when we all had to pair up with someone to practice the technique that we were learning. I would try to work someone who I felt comfortable with, and was something that just about everyone else did.
Towards the end of the course, we were told to find someone who we hadn’t worked with before. And it was suggested that we work with someone who we had avoided up until this point.
An Opportunity to Grow
I didn’t think this made a lot of sense at first and thought that it would be better for me to work with someone who I felt at ease with. Nevertheless, what I came to see is that by working with someone who I had avoided, it gave me (as well as them) the chance to see why I had been avoiding them.
Being in close proximity to them had triggered something within me and by working with them; I would be able to work through what was going on within me. If, on the other hand, I had avoided them, I wouldn’t have had the chance to do this.
A Similar Message
A little while after this course, I read a number of Osho’s books and one thing he spoke about was being with a problem until it was no longer a problem. So, instead of trying to change what was going on or to run away from it; it was simply about embracing what was going on and being with it.
Through coming from a place of acceptance as opposed to resistance, the problem or situation would gradually change. This is then about surrendering to the moment and working with the flow of the universe – something that takes a certain amount of trust.
It might seem as though what I have said here has nothing to do with what happened whilst I was on the course, yet what both of these things have in common is how beneficial it can be to face that which makes us feel uncomfortable. This is something that can involve being with are so-called negative thoughts and feelings.
What makes these aspects even stronger is when we try to deny them; after all, what we resist persists. This shows that the need to feel good or to change something can just be a way for us to avoid how we feel, with this need coming from our ego.
A Number of Years Later
In 2015 I met someone called Wain Gordon and I thought that this was just another guy who was into self-development. How wrong I was – this was someone who had very little in common with a lot of the people I had met who were into this area of life.
In many ways, being around him was similar to having a stone in my shoe; I would often feel unconformable and as though I was being challenged. But while having a stone in my shoe would be painful, I came to see that I would only experience pain if I interpreted what Wain was saying in the wrong way.
He would ask me why I wanted to achieve something and what I had hoped to achieve after I had done something. He wasn’t asking me this to because he had nothing else to do and wanted to undermine me; he asked me this because he wanted to see if I was aware of what my motivations were.
I came to see that these were the kinds of questions that I should be asking myself if I wanted to behave in a conscious manner. However, if I had got caught up in how uncomfortable I felt, it would have stopped me from being able to grow.
I think that this empathises how important it is to be able to observe our inner processes and, when we can do this, it will be a lot easier for us to learn from that which causes us to feel uncomfortable. It has been said that our own life is our greatest teacher and it is easy to see why this is the case.
That is, of course, if we pay attention to the messages that are being given to us. If you would like to find out more about Wain, and the services that he offers, please go to - https://www.timetorelax.space/.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.