Towards the end of 2016, it was clear that I was only getting so far; in fact, it was as though I was actually getting worse, not better. I had worked with people, but some of the changes that I had made didn’t last and I was only getting so far.
What also stood out was how I needed to be working with a therapist in order to feel at ease. I didn’t have the ability to regulate my own system, so I had become dependent on these kinds of people.
The Unexpected Happened
During this time, I just ‘happened’ to have a car accident; fortunately I wasn’t hurt and neither was anyone else. My car was a write-off, even though it was only damaged on one side and looked fine from the back, front and the other side.
In a way, this accident was a manifestation of how I felt at the time – along with feeling angry and frustrated, I felt powerless and as though I had no control over my life. So, losing control and no longer having a car to drive increased the intensity of how I had felt to begin with.
Down but Not Out
The feelings within me were bound to create a situation in my life that reflected how I felt at a deeper level. I wasn’t willing to throw in the towel though; I had come too far to do that.
What also played a part here was that I didn’t think that I would have come so far only to be left in the dark. I knew that I had to keep going and that the right guidance would soon appear.
The Crooked Cure
My search for answers continued, with this being a time when I came to hear about how most of the therapy/healing our there is just a short-term solution. Someone can then feel settled when they are with their therapist/healer, but when they are not, they can end up feeling completely dysregulated, or they can feel better once they have stopped having this support, only to return to how they were before shortly after.
One will then have been trained to settle in this person’s presence and to feel unsettled when they are not with them. Therefore, while they can believe that they are making progress; this is going to be no different to spending time with a good friend, for instance.
The Next Step
Still, this is not to say that one should never feel dependent on someone like this, as this can be part of the healing process. What matters is how long someone is in this stage for, as it shouldn’t last forever.
Anyway, I ended up coming across something called Neurofeedback, and this was positioned as being the answer to the problem above. This seemed like exactly what I was looking for – something that would finally settle my emotions down and get me out of fear mode.
A Powerful Tool
By taking trying this, I started to settle down and I felt better, my mind also started to function better. It was as though I had been lifted up and I was amazed by what had taken place.
I soon started to remember what I had been like before all my trauma had been brought up to the surface, around 2012. The trouble was that although it had an effect, I was still loaded with toxic shame.
Not the Answer
Additionally, it was as though what was going on for me at deeper level hadn’t been touched by this approach. And after a little while, the effects started to wear off; at this point, I couldn’t understand what was going on.
I ended up getting in touch with someone who I had worked with before, when I tried Somatic experiencing. I had to keep going, and I ended up trying something called Life Activation.
A New Approach
After about a month had passed the following year, I knew that I needed to do something else. It was around this time that I thought about Ben Ralston, a healer who I had come across before.
For whatever reason it hadn’t gone any further at that point, but I felt the need to book a session with him. One of the main things I wanted to deal with was the toxic shame I was carrying, along with a number of other issues.
A Miracle Occurred
It didn’t take long before a lot of the toxic shame had disappeared; it was as though the impossible had happened. I was amazed by what took place and I felt incredibly grateful that our paths had crossed.
For a little while, I stopped using the word ‘healer’ at the end of my articles as I thought that it was far better to use the term ‘therapist’ instead. The reason for this is that I didn’t have a lot of faith in these kinds of people.
The Real Deal
But after working with Ben, it was perfectly clear that there are people out there who have an incredible ability. I currently believe someone either has this ability or they don’t, and that it can’t be taught by doing some kind of healing course.
And even if someone does learn a few things by doing a healing course, for instance, it doesn’t mean that they will end up with the same ability. It is then similar to how just about anyone can learn how to kick a ball, but only a few people who kick a ball will end up as world class players.
I’m not quite sure what he does, but I know that it works. There is no doubt that this is someone who is committed to what he does, along with making a difference through the work that he does and in other ways.
If you would like to find out more about Ben Ralston, and the services that he offers, please go to - http://benralston.org/
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.