When someone is carrying pain that needs to be faced and acknowledged, and this pain is avoided, it can lead to a whole host of problems. There can be the effect it has on their mind, emotional body, and their physical body.
As a result of this, this pain is naturally going to play a big part in how they behave and how they experience life. But, while what is taking place inside them will have a big affect on every area of their life, it doesn’t mean that they will do something about this pain.
Out of Touch
There is the chance that they won’t even be aware of what is going on inside them, and it is then not going to be possible for them to do anything about it. There is the chance that they will have a number of ways to keep this pain at bay.
And, as this has been taking place for so long, they might not even have to think about doing something like this. Therefore, even if they were to become aware of the pain that is inside them, they would soon push it back down again.
However, even if someone does behave in this manner, it’s not as though they will be doing something that is out of the ordinary. They are likely to come into contact with plenty of people who behave in the same way.
As a consequence of living in the west – and even if they don’t – they will most likely have been conditioned to believe that the answers to their problems are ‘out there’. Taking something can then be seen as the right thing to do when it comes to feeling better.
A Different Approach
After running away from this pain for however long, they might start to wonder if there is another way. Ideally, this will be before their life gets so bad that they have no other choice than to do something.
Yet, if this is what takes place, it could be a sign that they have just gone through an extremely painful breakup or they may have hit rock bottom emotionally. They might still be able to carry on at this point, but what has happened may have finally given them the push that they need to wake up and change their life.
If they have avoided their inner world for most of their life, it is unlikely that they will just be able to dive in there. This is then no different to how someone won’t be able to run ten miles if they haven’t even run one mile.
The masculine element within them, the part that gives them courage, amongst other things, will need to be developed. This will give them the ability to get in touch with what is taking place inside their body and not to try to run away from themselves.
It would be easy to say that the only element that is needed when it comes to healing emotional pain is the masculine, but this is not the truth. One part will be for them to penetrate their own inner world, and the other part will be for them to surrender to what is taking place.
Once they get in touch with how they feel, it is not going to be necessary for them to use force. If they were to do this, they wouldn’t get very far; it would end up being another type of avoidance.
Their masculine element will be what allows them to break through the defences that they have built up over the years. And, as these defences start to crumble, it will make it easier for them to connect with what is actually going on inside them.
Through embracing their feminine element, and therefore letting go of the need to change or do anything, they will be able to face and acknowledge how they feel. Giving the wounded part of them the chance to be heard will be what allows them to transform.
This can be a time when they will end up getting in touch with the wounded inner children that are within them. It won’t matter how old they are as what happened during their early years will still be affecting their life.
When they were wounded, a part of them would have ended up being stuck at this point in their life. These parts will end up taking a lot of their energy and they will stop them from being able to operate as a coherent human being.
One of the reasons why it is a good idea to work with a therapist or a healer is that they will give one the support that they need to get the ball moving, so to speak. In the same way that an unstable house will need scaffolding, one may need external support until they feel strong enough to do this kind of work by themselves.
Reaching out external support doesn’t mean that one is incapable or inherently weak. If anything; it shows that they value themselves enough to do something about their life, and this also takes courage.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.