Helpless State: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Be In A Helpless State?

What can be normal is for someone to feel helpless and as though they are unable to do anything. However, even though this is how they can generally feel and perceive life, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this.

As a result of this, being this way is going to prevent them from living a life that is fulfilling but they won’t be able to do anything about it. This will just be seen as how their life is and as something that they have to tolerate.

A Connection

If they were able to mentally detach from how they experience life and see that they feel helpless, they would be able to do something about what is going on. Until that takes place, they will live in an invisible prison.

Another part of what can prevent them from being able to move forward is that they can unconsciously do what they can to hide what is going on for them from others. So, they could create the impression that they are fine when they are around others.

A Low Place

When they are by themselves, they are likely to often feel very low and even depressed. If they were aware of how they feel and to describe it, they could say that it’s as though they are in a very deep hole.

During these moments, they are unlikely to feel the need to do a great deal and they may just want to sleep. To try to change how they feel, they could end up consuming something or engaging in some kind of activity.

One Big Struggle

When it comes to their life, they could have a job that is soul-destroying, they might not have many friends, or be in a relationship. But, as unfulfilling as these areas of their life will be, they won’t believe that they can do anything about it.

Each day is then going to be a battle and getting to sleep could be difficult and it could be hard for them to get out of bed each morning. If they have a general outlook, it could be: what’s the point in trying to do anything.

It’s clear

Now, if they were to become aware of how they feel and reach out for support, they could soon end up being told that they are experiencing something called ‘learned helpless’. Through being in this state for so long, they won’t realise that they are not actually helpless.

Furthermore, they could be told that they are likely to have experienced something that was traumatic during their adult and/or early years. This would then have been a time when they were helpless and unable to do anything.

Immobilised

To use an analogy, then, they are like a car that had lost its power at one point in time but now has the power to move again. But, as the car is caught up in the sense of being totally helpless, it is not possible for it to accept this.

For them to get out of this state, they could be encouraged to question what they believe and to change their thoughts. In other words, what is going on at a mental level will be the area of focus.

Moving Forward

This approach, along with doing certain things, may allow them to gradually get out of this state and  embrace their inherent power. Then again, it might not last for very long or even work.

If so, they could be told that they just need to keep going and sooner or later, their hard work will pay off. Yet, there is the chance that the reason they experience life in this way is not solely due to what is taking place in their mind.

Going Deeper

If they did experience trauma during their developmental years, this may have been a time when, practically from the moment they were born, they were often left and when they were given attention, it might have largely been misattuned care. This would have stopped them from receiving the nutrients that they needed to be able to grow and develop in the right way.

They would have felt hopeless and helpless and they were hopeless and helpless; there was nothing that they could have done. The pain and arousal that they experienced would have automatically been repressed by their brain and they would have gone into a shut down, disconnected, collapsed and frozen state.

A Heavy Weight

With this in mind, their brain and body will be loaded up with pain and arousal and, thus, simply changing what is going on up top is not going to be enough. At best, this approach will only allow them to suppress how they truly feel.

What this also illustrates is that while their thoughts can create how they feel, their thoughts can be an effect of how they feel. For them to move forward, they will most likely need to face this pain and the unmet needs that go with it.
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Awareness

If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.  

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk