It has been said that one of our greatest needs is to be seen who we really are, and what this shows is that we are not here to hide. Therefore, when it is not possible for someone to fulfil this need, it is going to cause them to suffer.
Part of Life
There are going to be people who are used to being seen by others, and this is going to make it easier for them to appreciate life. The people they are closest to will know who they are and there will be no need for them to put on an act around them.
When they are out in the world and around people who they don’t know very well, they might not always reveal ho they are. But as this is the exception as opposed to the rule, it is unlikely to be something that will have much of an effect on them.
It could also be said that this will be something that one has control over, and that they will choose to put on an act from time to time. This is because it is not always going to be in one’s best interests to be themselves.
For example, one might need to hide how they feel when they are out in the world, or to keep their thoughts to themselves. However, if this was what was normal, it would be a lot harder for them to put up with these instances.
Through experiencing life in this way, one is going to feel as though they are on the right path in life. Each day of their life is then going to be used to fulfil their purpose, and this will allow them to lead a meaningful existence.
This doesn’t mean that their life will always go to plan or that they will always have their needs met; what it means is that they will save themselves a lot of problems. It could be said that this is because there are two types of pain.
When one is able to be themselves, there will be the challenges that they are unable to avoid, and this will cause them to experience pain. On the hand, if one was unable to experience life in this way, it would cause them to suffer unnecessarily.
Still, when one is unable to live how they want to live, it doesn’t mean that they realise they have a choice. As far as they are concerned, this could be just how life is, and it is then going to be something that they have to put up with.
Their life can then be seen as something that they have to endure and not something that they can enjoy. When one has this outlook, there is a strong chance that their life has always been this way.
Whereas if there was a time in their life when this wasn’t the case, they could believe that they don’t have to live life in this way. But without this reference point, it is going to be a lot harder for them to experience hope.
On one side, this could mean that will put on act when they are around others, and on the other side, it could mean that they don’t spend much time around others. If they do spend time around others, these people might not even realise that they are putting on an act.
As far as they are concerned, they could believe that their behaviour is a reflection of their personality. One could be seen as someone who is shy or quiet, for instance, or they could describe them as an introvert.
Yet if one spends a lot of time by themselves and generally avoids others, it could cause other people to wonder what is going on for them. Their behaviour can then be seen as being out of the ordinary.
Having said that, there is also the chance that they won’t know many people and so there behaviour could end up being overlooked. And while one could identify with the first or the second option, there is also the chance that they will alternate between the two.
Thus, depending how they feel and what is taking place around them, they could go out into the world and put on an act, or they could isolate themselves. It might then be accurate to say that they are experiencing inner conflict.
Part of them wants to go out into the world and be seen, and another part of them doesn’t want to be seen. This is not going to be the same as what happens when someone needs to be by themselves, as they won’t feel the need to hide.
The Same Scenario
When one feels the need to hide, it won’t matter whether they are by themselves or around others, as it won’t be possible for them to be seen. As the need to be seen is so important, it can be hard for one to comprehend why they would want to hide.
However, what this can show is that there was a time in their life when it was safe for them to be seen, and based on what took place, their behaviour could end up being seen as perfectly normal. But as the years have passed, it can stop them from being able to see how their past is still influencing their present.
During the beginning of their life, they may have been brought up by caregivers who were physically abusive, and through being treated in this way, they came to believe that it wasn’t safe for them to be seen. Hiding would then have been a way for them to avoid being harmed.
These experiences would have caused one to experience trauma, and this trauma will have stayed within them. Hiding from the world is then not just going to be a way for them to feel comfortable; it will be seen as the only way for them to survive.
If one can relate to this and they want to move forward, it might be necessary for them to work with therapist.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.