In today’s world, it is not uncommon for the media to blame all men for everything and for all women to be portrayed as innocent victims. This is all part of what is known as ‘identity politics’, where everyone is put into a group and no one is seen as an individual.
Someone is then a victim and has no control over their life or they are perpetrator and have complete control, and what is likely to define whether someone is see as being a victim or a perpetrator will be their appearance and sexual orientation. Therefore, how someone behaves and actually experiences life is going to be irrelevant.
Naturally, this way a looking at the world is perfect if someone doesn’t like to think for themselves. Life will be black and white and there will be no need for them to engage their brain.
But while this will be the case for some people, what can’t be overlooked is the amount of damage that this ideology has caused. Not only has it caused a lot of division, it has also stopped a lot of people from growing, causing them to be mentally and emotionally stunted.
So, as men have been demonized by the media and the education system for so long, it has caused a lot of them to go their own way (MGTOW) and basically throw the towel in. But, if they are seen as the problem by so many parts of society, is this really a surprise?
In a lot of cases, if a man criticises a woman he is labelled as a ‘misogynist, but if a woman criticises a man; it is highly unlikely that she will be called a misandrist. Interestingly, this is a word that a lot of people don’t even know.
Due to this, if a woman has issues with men there is going to be no reason for her to face her wounds and to heal herself. Instead, she can simply project her pain onto all men and appear to have the moral high ground in the process.
If a man, on the other hand, had issues with women and acted in the same way, he would soon end up being labelled as a misogynist and he might even end up being ostracised. Yet, as men are inherently bad, there can’t be anything wrong with a woman if she hates all men.
When it comes to how someone sees men/women, it is often the result of how their mother/father, along with other figures, treated them when they were growing up. The trouble is that as the years pass, someone can end losing touch with what happened (the pain in their body).
This is a defence mechanism - something that will take place to protect them from the original pain. The trouble is that while this will happen, the pain won’t disappear; this pain will end up being triggered by men/women in their adult life.
However, unless someone is in touch with what is taking place in their body, they will believe that these people are the problem. When in reality, they are simply mirroring back to them what they need to heal within themselves.
If a woman is caught up in an ideology that stops her from looking into what part she is playing in how she experiences life, she won’t be able to own her own pain and to heal herself. The same can be said for a man who is caught up in something that allows him to avoid his own inner wounds.
Many years ago, before I had really worked through anything, I experienced a lot of hate towards women. I gradually came to see that my feelings didn’t have anything to do with women and everything to do with what took place when I was younger.
My mother was emotionally, verbally and physically abusive, and this caused me to experience a lot of pain. But if I hadn’t looked into why I felt this way and faced my pain, I would have continued to project my pain onto women and believed that they were all the same; I might even have joined some kind of movement, who knows.
All it takes is for someone to have been wounded by their mother or father as a child and their mind can then cause them to see men/women in the same way. What this comes down to is that we don’t see with our eyes, we see with our mind.
Thus, if someone believes that men are a certain way or women are a certain way, their reality will supply them with the evidence they need to support what they believe. The minds primary need is to be right and this is because being wrong is equated with death.
Taking all this into account, one of the best things that someone can do to change the world is to heal themselves. If they don’t do this, they will just add even more pain and drama to it.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.