Over the years, I have heard many people say that they love their partner. Additionally, I have also seen people say this on social media, and this has often been followed up with their partner saying the same thing.
Whenever this was said, it was as though this meant that they would stay with each other until their time on this planet came to an end. But while this was the impression that was created, some of these relationships only lasted for a matter of months or even weeks after this was said.
It each of these cases it wasn’t because one of them had passed on; there was nothing wrong with their physical health. Also, there were times when one of them ended up with someone else before much time had passed.
One way of looking at each of these cases would be to say that while they appeared to be in love, this was nothing more than an illusion. It was then as though what they said didn’t fully match up with how they felt.
Another way of looking at it would be to say that they did love each other; it’s just that love means something else to them. Their version of love is when another person plays a certain role and meets specific conditions.
What this then shows is that the love that they offer is conditional and not unconditional. It could be said that what they offer is not love; if it was, there wouldn’t be any conditions in place.
True love comes from the heart and is unconditional, whereas false love comes from the mind and is conditional. The reason the heart can offer unconditional love is because it doesn’t need anything.
When the mind gets involved and ‘loves’ another person, their heart might not even be open. What can be involved in this version of love is the wounded part of them that didn’t get what it needed during their early year, and this part of them can influence their sexual organs, stomach and chest, amongst other areas.
Unmet Childhood Needs
The wounded part/s of them, often known as the inner child, can end up taking over, and it will want to receive what it didn’t receive all those years ago. As a result of this, another person will be seen as a mother/father figure or both, with this taking place unconsciously
Having them around will then be a way to fulfil their inner emptiness, with this causing them to lose their boundaries. So, all the time that this person is around and is willing to go along with the role that has been unconsciously assigned to them, they are likely to stay together.
Yet, as soon as this changes or if their partner was to share their body with someone else, the illusion that they have created will come crashing down. The ‘love’ that they had for the other person could disappear in a matter of seconds.
They can end up hating the other person and do everything they can never to see them again. If this happens, it can show that they have end up projecting their so-called negative aspects onto the other person.
Perhaps, if they were able to see that the other person was an individual and that it was never going to be possible for them to give them what they didn’t get as a child, it would have made it easier for them to behave in a more balanced way from the start. They might have even found that they didn’t even love the other person.
Doing this might have caused them to see that they were so caught up in the idea that they have created of the other person, that it stopped them from being able to actually see them. What this empathises is how our early years can influence our present day relationships and how important it is to face and then to heal our early wounds.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.