Illness: Do Some People Believe That They Need To Be Ill In Order To Receive Attention?

In general, it is believed that if someone gets ill it is not because they want to be ill. What this then means is that not one part of their being will want to experience life in this way.

If someone wanted to prove that this is the case, they could put forward at least two reasons. Firstly, they could say that no one would want to be ill as there is nothing pleasant about being ill.
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It’s Clear

Secondly, they could say that if someone wanted to be ill, they wouldn’t do anything about what they are going through. So the fact that someone will take something and/or see their Doctor, for instance, will add further weight to this view.

Another reason that can be put forward is that being ill can stop someone from being able to live their life, which will be the last thing that they will want. It can then seem as though there is only one way of looking at this.

A Different Route

Another approach that would probably lead to the same outcome is if someone was to speak to a number of people that were ill and to ask them if they are choosing to be this way. There is a strong chance that not one of them would say that this is the case.

Some of these people, after having been asked this question, might even end up getting annoyed. They might feel deeply offended and wonder why they would even be asked such a question.

Moving On

If this was to take place, one could end up feeling as though they had done something wrong. What could also play part in how they feel is all of the conditioning that they have received from a very young age.

If they live in the western world, they may have been told over and over again that people just get ill. This is then something that is out of their hands and, as a result of this, it will be normal for them to feel bad for questioning this view after having years and years of being programmed to see themselves, and others, as a victim.

Two Levels

However, although someone can say something convincingly, it doesn’t mean that what they are saying is completely accurate. What this comes down to is that there can be what is taking place in ones conscious mind and then there can be what is taking place in their so-called unconscious mind.

Therefore, while one can believe that they have just become ill, it could be because of something that is taking place at a deeper level. Yet, if they are not aware of what is going on there, it is to be expected that they will see themselves as someone who has played no part in it.

One Example

Let’s say that after working really hard and neglecting themselves in the process, one ends up bedridden. By being ill, they will have to take care of certain needs that they have been ignoring.

Perhaps they have the tendency to ignore their own needs due to not feeling comfortable with them. By being ill, they will have no other choice than to look after their own needs.  

Going Deeper

For someone else, they may have the inclination to cover up how they feel and to make out that everything is always fine. This could show that they are carrying a lot of shame, which prevents them from revealing who they really are and their needs.

Consequently, being ill can be a way for them to finally drop their defences and to reveal who they are and their needs around others. Thanks to this, they will be able to be authentic and to get some of their needs met.

The Purpose

In each of these cases, one will have certain needs that they are not taking care of but by being ill, they will be able to take care of some, if not all, of them. What his illustrates is that if one doesn’t consciously take care of a need, they will unconsciously look for a way to meet it.

The downside here is that this can cause them to manifest something that will harm them in some way. One can then become ill and then recover shortly after, only to go through the same thing all over again, or they can stay ill for a very long time.

A New Beginning

For their life to change, it will be essential for them to look into what they believe about themselves and their own needs. The truth is that there is nothing wrong with who they really are or their own needs.

To realise this, they will need to bring their beliefs to the light and to question them. Once they begin to see themselves and their needs differently, they will be able to be themselves and fulfil their needs without becoming ill.

Awareness

If one finds that this is too confusing or that they are carrying a lot of pain, they might need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or a healer.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk