Although someone may have attained a certain level of success, it doesn’t mean that they will feel comfortable with it. Based on how they often feel, it could be as if they have stolen this success from someone else.
They could be doing well in their career and a number of other areas of their life could also be going well. To get to where they are, they may have worked extremely hard over the years.
But, if they don’t feel comfortable with what is going on, they are not going to be able to embrace or enjoy what they have worked so hard for. At times, they might wish that their life was different.
They could also have moments when they think about what their life would be like if they were not very successful. This could be seen as something that would allow them to feel more at ease.
Their inability to feel at ease with what they have achieved could be something that some if not all of the people in their life are aware of. Then again, this could be something that they have kept to themselves.
If they have kept it to themselves, they could believe that talking about what is going on for them would just make things even worse. The reason for this is that telling others could be seen as something that will cause them to be exposed and rejected.
An Invisible Prison
If they are in this position, not only are they going to be under a lot of pressure but they are going to be carrying all the pressure by themselves. Naturally, the sooner they are able to open up about what is going on for them, the better off they will be.
If they were an independent human being who didn’t need others, it wouldn’t matter but as they are an interdependent human being who needs others, it will matter. Sooner or later, they might arrive at the stage where they are no longer able to behave in this way.
Now, regardless of if they have or haven’t kept what is going on to themselves, if they were to connect to how they feel, they could find that they feel unworthy and undeserving of what they have achieved. They could see this as being irrational but that is unlikely to change anything.
What is going on for them at a mental level is then going to be no match for what is going on for them at an emotional level. If they were to reflect on their life, they could find that they have felt this way for quite some time.
Additionally, what may stand out is that there was a time when they didn’t feel this way and that this was when they hadn’t achieved a great deal. In this case, their discomfort will have increased as they have become more successful.
This will make perfect sense as the more they achieve, the further their external experience will be from their inner experience. However, as they have put in the time and effort to achieve what they have and it hasn’t simply been given to them on a plate, so to speak, they are worthy and deserving of the life that they lead.
What’s going on?
So, if they have felt this way for as long as they can remember and didn’t feel this way before they were successful or at the very least, not to the same degree, it could show that their early years were not very nurturing. This may have been a time when they were not provided with the love that they needed to grow and develop in the right way.
Throughout this stage of their life, they may have been neglected and perhaps physically and verbally abused. And, as they were egocentric, they would have personalised what took place, coming to believe that they were not enough, worthless and unlovable.
A Big Contrast
With this in mind, it is not going to be a surprise that they are unable to feel comfortable with the success that they have attained as an adult. Thanks to the view of themselves that they formed when they were in an underdeveloped state, they are going to be in a very low place at an emotional level.
Therefore, anything that lifts them out of this low place is going to cause them to experience discomfort. They won’t have done anything that makes them unworthy and undeserving of what life has to offer but they won’t be able to accept this at an emotional level.
Ultimately, they are worthy and deserving of what life has to offer and, in all likelihood, the only reason their parent or parents were unable to mirror this back to them is because of how wounded they were. They may have also been deprived of the love that they needed during their formative years.
They would then have been unable to pass on to their child what was not passed onto them. For them to truly let of go what took place at this stage of their life, they are like to have beliefs to question and pain to face and work through.
If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.