Impostor: Why Do Some People Feel Like Impostors?

Just because someone has worked hard to achieve something, it doesn’t mean that they feel as though they deserve it. The ideal would be for someone to feel as though they are worthy, no matter what they accomplish.

However, there are some people who are unable to accept their achievements. Part of them may know that they have worked hard and this could even be backed up by the people around them, and yet, doubt still consumes their mind.

It then won’t matter what they have gone through to get where they are or the amount of work they have put in, because they will still experience inner conflict. And this is not only going to make it difficult for them to relax when they achieve something, it is also going to make it difficult for them to accept what they do achieve.

Impostors

So when they achieve something, there is the chance that they will feel like importers. And with this will be the fear that, sooner or later, other people are going to realise how incapable they really are.  

This outlook could arise for someone who has only just started to experience success in their life and for someone who is used to it. But regardless of how common it is, they are still having the same experience.

Mismatch

What this shows, is that there is a mismatch in what is taking place externally, and in what is taking place internally. If one was to place their attention on what is going on externally, it will be clear that they have earned what they have achieved. And this is something that will be visible to other people; as long as one gains feedback from people who are not threatened by ones achievements for instance.

If one was to ignore what is taking place externally and to place their attention on what is going on internally, they will soon realise that what is going internally doesn’t reflect reality. And that what is going on internally has no connection to what is currently taking place.

Sabotage

One is then not stopping themselves from being successful, but what they are doing is stopping themselves from being able to embrace their success. There are going to be people who sabotage their success and this means they probably won’t get the chance to feel like impostors.

But this doesn’t mean that they have nothing in common with the people who do achieve success and who do feel like impostors. There have something in common and that is that they both feel worthless.

Worthless                                                                                                          

It could be said that the reason one person is successful and the other person is not, is partly due to how they deal with this feeling. When someone continually sabotages their life, it can mean that they are being controlled by the feeling of being worthless.

But when one allows themselves to achieve success and then stops themselves from being able to accept what they do achieve, it can mean that the feeling of being worthless is not as strong. Or that they have found a way for it to fuel their inner fire, instead their inner fire being completely put out by it.

Conflict

So all the time this feeling is within someone, it is not going to be possible for them to enjoy the fruits of their labour. As soon as they have achieved one thing, they might feel the urge to achieve something else.

Not only are they going to miss out on what they have worked so hard to achieve, they can also end up being exhausted. And if one feels that other people are going to suss them out, there is the chance that they are going to experience anxiety on a regular basis.

Unless one deals with the root cause, it won’t matter how much they achieve. They are still going to feel the same, and all the success in the world won’t completely change how they feel.

Causes

The reason one feels like an impostor could be due to what has happened in their adult years and/ or what happened during their childhood years. Ones childhood years generally have the biggest influence on how they feel and what they believe as an adult.

As a child, one may have had caregivers who were less than nurturing. Perhaps one was verbally abused as a child and only received love for what they did and not for who they were.

These experiences then caused one to believe that they were flawed and unworthy of life itself.  So while times have changed, one still has the same beliefs and feels the same way.

Awareness

In order for someone to embrace who they truly are and to let go of what doesn’t serve them, they will need to change their beliefs and to release the trapped emotions that have built up in their body. This can be done with the assistance of a therapist or a healer. 

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Oliver J R Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/