If a man is in a position where he finds it hard to assert himself, to take action and to handle his own emotions, there is the chance that he will want to find a way to change his life. This will show that part of him believes that his life can be different.
Then again, how he experiences life could just be seen as how life is, meaning that he won’t do anything about it. He is then just going to put up with what is taking place and to continue it live a miserable existence.
Suffering in Silence
For whatever reason, there is not going to be a part of him that believes that his life can be different and, as a result of this, he won’t do anything about his life. Due to this, his life is likely to get worse.
He might have a ‘victim mentality’, which will cause him to blame other people for how he experiences life. Through being this way, he may often be angry and carry a lot of resentment.
Ready to Move Forward
If a man wants to find a way to change his life, he may have already spent a fair amount of time feeling like a victim. Feeling powerless and helpless will have been the norm, until he was able to wake up and to see that he does have control over his life.
To get to this point is, in itself, an achievement and now he will be able to find a way to change his life. Without this understanding, he would continue to be trapped by his own mind and live a life that isn’t worth living.
If he ends up looking online for answers, he may soon be told that in order for him to change his life, he needs to change how he talks to himself and his behaviour. In other words, the mental and behavioural approach will be the answer.
It will be important for him to be mindful of how he talks to himself and to no longer behave in the same way. This, of course, will be a process and not something that happens overnight; still, the sooner he starts, the sooner his life will change.
To keep going when he experiences resistance or a setback, he can focus on what his life will be like in a few years time if he throws the towel in, so to speak. The discomfort that this brings will keep him on the right track.
He will need to be patient and persistent, and to keep in mind that he deserves to live a fulfilling life. This will be a journey where his biggest battle will be with himself, not with anyone or anything ‘out there’.
The reason this will be where his biggest battles take place is that there will be parts of him that don’t want his life to change. Additionally, when he does experience a setback, it will be how he interprets what happens and then what happens internally that will define how much of an impact something has on him.
If something ‘negative’ happens and he ends up falling down emotionally, it is likely to show that there is more going on than meets the eye. What happened may have unlocked a deep wound, with this being something that has very little to do with what has taken place externally.
A Straightforward Procedure
With that aside, by doing the right things he will gradually find it easier to assert himself, to take action and to handle his emotions. One way of looking at this would be to say that he will become more masculine.
Now, irrespective of whether or not this approach will actually work, there is something else that he can do to change his life. This will be less about doing and more about being, and it won’t be very linear.
Instead of focusing on what is taking place in his mind and changing his behaviour, he will need to connect to what is taking place in his body. If he was to do this, he may end up getting in touch with his inner child.
Many years will have passed since he was a child but the child that he once was will now live inside him. This part of him will have an effect on how he behaves and how he feels.
Dealing with the Cause
It might be hard for him conscious mind to accept that his inner child is affecting how he behaves, and, if this is so, he can just see this part of him as being his unconscious mind. Ergo, by healing his inner child, he will be changing what is taking place at a deeper level.
If his inner child is playing a part in why he finds it hard to assert themselves, to take action and to handle his emotions, it could show that his early years were not very nurturing. This part of him won’t feel safe and this will stop his adult self from feeling safe enough to express his true-self, and if this part of him is in a lot of pain, it will cause his adult self to be in a lot of pain.
When it comes to healing this part of himself – or parts, as there will be more than one inner child – he won’t need to do or to fix anything. This will be a time when he will need to simply be there for this part of him and to allow it to express what it wasn’t allowed to express all those years ago.
If he is unable to stay present and ends up merging with his inner child, he won’t be able to heal this part of him. This doesn’t mean that he is weak or incapable; it just means that he will need external support.
When a man does inner child work, it will be a time of surrender, and this can be seen as an expression of this feminine aspect. However, even though he will be embracing his feminine aspect during this time, this will allow him to develop a stronger connection to his masculine aspect.
If a man does need external support, this is something that can be provided by the assistance of a therapist or healer. This support will allow him to go where he wouldn’t go by himself and to build up his own presence.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.