Although someone may want to move forward, they may find that it is not possible for them to do so. Quite simply, there will be where they are and there will be where they want to be.
If they were to look back on their life, they may find that is has been this way for as long as they can remember. As a result of this, it could seem as though someone or something ‘out there’ is holding them back.
They could be in a position where their relationships are not very fulfilling and their career is not going very well. Perhaps their relationships are fairly dysfunctional, with them not feeling seen or heard by the people in their life.
As for their career, they might not have been able to make real progress, or they could take one step forward and then two steps back. Either way, this will be an area of their life that is very frustrating.
Conversely, one might not have any real friends or have ever had an intimate relationship, something that they would like to do something about. As for their work-life, they might not do something that they enjoy doing.
Their whole life can be pretty empty and meaningless, yet they could believe that there is very little that they can do to change it. If they have tried to change it in the past, they might not have got very far.
Two Different Realities
From the outside, it could be said that the first person is in a better position than the second person; that’s if a comparison is made. However, if the first person was to hear this, it wouldn’t change anything.
Ultimately, their life is not going to be going how they want it to go, so hearing that they are supposedly doing better than someone else won’t benefit them. It might give their ego-mind a boost but it won’t do much else.
An Invisible Barrier
When someone’s life doesn’t really change, regardless of what position they are in or how much they do to change it, it can be as though they are trapped. They won’t look trapped from the outside but they will almost certainly feel trapped on the inside.
If they are doing all the ‘right’ things to move forward and they were to talk to another person about what they are going through, they could end up being told that they are just ‘unlucky’. Therefore, they will just need to be patient and wait until their luck changes.
If, on the other hand, they were to reach out for support, they could be told that they are sabotaging themselves. This won’t be something that they are doing consciously; it will be something that is taking place unconsciously.
It could be put forward to them that they probably don’t value themselves, hence why they don’t allow their life to change. By not having a sense of deserving in place, they hold themselves back without realising it.
Onwards and Upwards
For their life to change, then, they will need to build up their own worth and as this takes place, they will finally be able to move forward. This is unlikely to happen overnight; it could be something that takes weeks, if not months.
Now, while this will be seen as the solution to their primary challenge, there is a chance that it won’t actually work. After developing a sense a felt sense of worth, they could find that not a lot changes.
The reason for this is that a big part of them might not feel safe enough to move forward; this part might only feel safe if their life stays the same. When it comes to the part that is holding them back, this can be their inner child.
Many years will have passed since they were a child but now that they are an adult, this child will now live inside them. Or to be more accurate, there will be many children that live inside them.
One of their child parts might not be in a good way and until this changes, this part won’t allow them to change their life. Up until this point in time, this part – along with other parts - will have been running their life without them knowing it.
This is because these parts will have been operating outside of their conscious mind; they will have been operating inside their unconscious mind. It will be these parts that are holding them back, not someone or something ‘out there’.
Back In Time
During their early years, they may have experienced some kind of abuse and/or neglect, which would have traumatised them. After being mistreated, this part of them would have been split-off and repressed.
The outcome of this is that life would have continued but a part of their being would have become estranged from the rest of them. Assuming that this self felt fearful, scared, powerless and deeply helpless, it won’t be a surprise if it stops the rest of them from being able to move forward.
This part of them won’t feel safe enough to be here and to exist or feel that it deserves to be here. The solution here will be for this part, and any other parts that are not in a good way, to be given the space that it needs to express what it wasn’t able to express all those years ago.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or healer. Through giving this part the chance to do this, it will change and gradually integrate with the rest of them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.