What someone may find is that they often end up being knocked down by life and feel helpless as a result. When this does take place, it could take a while for them to get back on their feet.
This could be something that takes place on a regular basis. Due to how often it takes place, they could have just about had enough of being alive and be desperate for their life to change, if not end.
If they have hit rock bottom, it could show that they have experienced a loss or a breakup. Then again, this could take place after they have been criticised, rejected or have been working for a few days.
Therefore, it won’t necessarily take something significant for them to end up this way. Even so, there will be an external event and then there will be how they end up reacting to it.
A Natural Outlook
Naturally, it is not going to be a surprise if they have come to the conclusion that they can’t handle life. They can have the need to avoid life as much as they can, with this being seen as the only way for them to cope.
So, life itself will be one hell of a challenge, which will take away their desire to take on challenges. This can mean that they will spend a lot of time merely existing and will rarely experience joy or happiness.
If they were to think about how long they have been this way, they may find that they have more or less always been this way. For a very long time, then, life will have been seen as one big challenge.
A life where what is going on externally will always be seen as being more than they are. By being powerless and incapable of handling life, retreating from it and doing their best to survive, will be their only option.
One way of looking at this would be to say that this is not true but for them to know this they will need to change their thoughts, behaviour and beliefs. By taking this cognitive behavioural approach, they will be able to realise that they are more than their circumstances.
Then again this approach might not work and even if it does work, it might not last for very long. The reason for this is that what is going on up top might only be part of why their life is this way.
The Tip of the iceberg
What this comes down to is that one’s conscious mind is only one part of them and a small part at that. However, if one lives in a society where this part of them is typically seen as where they begin and end, the rest of them won’t be acknowledged, let alone overlooked.
The focus will be on their thoughts, beliefs and behaviour; whereas their feelings will be put to one side. Or if they are taken into consideration, they are likely to be seen as being caused by their thoughts and beliefs.
A Half Truth
At times, how they feel can purely be a reflection of their thoughts and beliefs but, even if they are, that doesn’t mean that changing their thoughts and beliefs will truly solve anything. What would need to be looked into is why their thoughts are out of control or are negative, and to do this, it will be necessary to take a deeper look.
With this in mind, if someone finds it hard to handle life and they want to transform their life, going beyond their conscious mind will be essential. One way for them to do this will be to sit with themselves and connect with their body.
This can be a time when they will come into contact with a lot of pain and they could end up feeling the need to do something before long or they could simply end up shutting down and disconnecting from how they feel. This will be a way for them to stop themselves from being overwhelmed with pain.
Most likely, the pain that is inside them will play a big part in why it is hard for them to handle life. This will put their nervous system under a lot of stress, taking away their ability to handle too much stress before they collapse.
What’s going on?
At this point, they could wonder why they are carrying so much pain and their nervous system is overloaded. If this is the case, it could show that their brain blocked out what took place in order to protect them.
When it comes to what took place that was so traumatic, it could relate to what they experienced during the beginning of their life. So, when they were an infant and then a toddler, they may have often been neglected and when they were given attention, they may have typically received missatuned care.
A Brutal Time
A time when their brain and nervous system was underdeveloped and unable to handle too much stress would have been a time when they felt overwhelmed on a regular basis. The care that they needed simply wouldn’t have been unavailable and their only option would have been to repress how they felt, disconnect from themselves and go into a frozen, shut down state.
By being this way, it probably would have prevented them from being able to receive after this point in time. The years would then have passed but they would have stayed in an underdeveloped and traumatised state.
A Natural Outcome
Consequently, it is not much of a surprise that life will be seen as something that is too much for them to handle as that was their first experience of life. This was a time when it was too much for them to handle.
And, as they are carrying so much pain, it won’t take a lot for them to be knocked to their knees. Now, though, what took place will be over but for them to know this at the core of their being and to reconnect to their strength, they will need to work through their pain and to settle their nervous system down.
This won’t take place overnight; it will take endless patience and persistence. If someone can relate to this and they are ready to change their life, they may need to reach out for external support.
This is something that can be provided with the assistance of a therapist or healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.