While social media has allowed people to stay in touch with their ‘friends’ no matter where they are; internet dating has given them the ability to find someone no matter where they are. As a result of this, it is no longer necessary for one to go out in order to find someone to have a relationship with.
One can then carry on with the rest of their life while looking for someone who will meet their criteria. This is something that is generally going to be seen as a good thing and this is because of how busy people often are in today’s world.
Through being busy, they might not have the time to look for someone in the real world and internet dating can then be seen as the perfect solution. They can then find someone without needing to put other areas of their life on hold.
Or of this is not the case, and they do have time to find someone in the real world, they may have come to believe that the old fashioned way no longer works. In this case, they may have spent a lot of time looking for someone and only been able to get so far.
Along with the time they have spent, they may have spent a lot of money. Using the internet can then be seen as the way to meet someone, and finding someone in the real world can be seen as a waste of time.
A New Option
However, regardless of why people use internet dating, what is clear is that it is a new option. One has the chance to come into contact with people they wouldn’t have come into contact with before.
It is no longer necessary for one to go to clubs or bars, for instance, and it doesn’t matter how old one is either. Whereas before one may have felt as though their age would have stopped them from being able to find someone, this is no longer the case.
Through finding the right site, they will see that people of all ages use internet dating and even if they are simply looking for companionship, they may be able to find it. Therefore, people of all ages can benefit from being able to find someone online.
While one can have new pictures taken, they can also use pictures that were taken many years ago. This means that can create a better impression online than they would if they were to meet someone in the real world.
The Other Side
However, even though this can allow one to attract someone they like, once they have met them in person it is likely to cause the other person to feel as though they have been deceived. One only needs to put themselves in the other person’s shoes to understand why they would feel this way.
On one hand, the other person may still find them attractive, but on the other hand, this might not be the case. Yet even though one can use older pictures, they can also use pictures that have been heavily edited.
Through using different filters and changing their appearance in other ways, the pictures they upload might not even look like them. This is something that can be done by just about anyone; it is not necessary for one to be an expert in editing pictures.
Along with this, one can take pictures from certain angles or in a different light and this can also affect how they look. What this shows is how the pictures that people use online might not match up with how they look offline.
When one’s pictures don’t match up with their real appearance, it is going mean that the responses they get are not real either. The idea other people will have of them is not going to match up with who they are.
Nevertheless, this doesn’t mean that they won’t accept the feedback that they receive from others. While this might just cause them to feel good about themselves, it could also set them up to lose touch with reality.
Through receiving this feedback, they can end up creating a false-self, and it can then be normal for them to believe that their appearance has a far greater impact on others than it actually does. Not only can this affect their behaviour online, it can also affect their behaviour offline.
The way this may impact a man is not necessarily going to be the way may it impact a women, and this is because men are generally more visual. Therefore, when it relates to a woman, it can set her up to believe that she should no longer go for the kind of men she used to go for and this is because of the effect her appearance has on them.
What can also play a part here is that people can message the people they wouldn’t usually go for. The first thing they can do is message people they would go for and if they don’t hear back; they can message the people that they wouldn’t usually go for.
This can also take place if one feels intimated by how someone looks, and this means they won’t ever bother messaging them. Therefore, the only reason why one is receiving these responses could be because they have edited their pictures on one hand and because other people see them as an easier option on the other.
What this shows is how easy it is for one to get caught up in the kind of feedback they receive online. If one wants to stay grounded, it will be important for them to take a step back from the responses they get.
But if this is not possible and they feel as though they need this feedback to feel good about themselves, it might be necessary for them to look at what is taking place within them. Once they can feel good about themselves without needing feedback from others, they are likely to have a better chance of finding the right person.
This is a process that can take place with the assistance of a therapist and/or a support group.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.