When one is attracted to someone in the real world, it can be due to a number of different factors. On one hand, how they look could play a part, and on the other hand, it could be the result of how one feels in their presence.
There is also the chance that how one feels in the other persons presence will be influenced by how they look. What this shows is that there is unlikely to be just one thing and that a number of different factors can be involved.
However, when it comes to internet dating, it could be said that one will primarily rely on their sight. Therefore, it can be important for someone to look right, and if they don’t, one could soon move onto someone else.
Once they find someone who fits their physical requirements, they could end up sending them a message. Or if someone messages them and they look right, they could be only too happy to reply.
But if this is not the case, one may also be interested on what they have to say about themselves. In fact, they could say that their appearance doesn’t matter, and that what they are like as a person is what matters.
Even so, one will need to trust what the person has written, and they won’t know what they are like in person. For example, one could look over someone’s profile and like what they hear, but this could all change if they were to actually meet them.
The Other Way
Also, if one was to meet someone even though they were not attracted to them, they could find that they have a connection with them in the real world. Yet it could be said that this is something that is unlikely to take place, unless they allow a friend to choose someone for them, for instance.
The reason something like can happen is that one’s type is not always their type, and what it can also come down to is that it is relatively easy for people to lie about themselves online. This can take place when someone presents themselves in a way that doesn’t match up with who they are and when they edit their images.
The Same Old Story
If one finds that they have the tendency to end up with people who are not right for them, then it could be a sign that they need to let go of the type of person they are attracted to. As even though this type of person can cause them to experience a strong reaction, it doesn’t mean that this is a good thing.
What it can show is that they remind one of how someone used to treat them in the past, and this could relate to someone who was abusive. Thus, it has an effect on them because it’s familiar, but at the same time, it is dysfunctional.
Ergo, if one experiences a strong attraction to someone, it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is a positive sign. What it can mean is that one needs to take a step and to reflect on what is taking place.
As if they were to allow their emotions to take control, they could soon find that they are with someone who is going to cause them problems (that’s if they haven’t already). When this happens, they could end up going from feeling elated to feeling trapped and/or depressed.
The Other Side
And while there is going to be the impression that other people are having on them, there is also going to be the impression that they are having on others. Naturally, one is going to want to portray themselves as best as they can.
In order to do this, they will need to make sure that they have good pictures on display and a good write up. It might also be a good idea for them to be clear about the kind of person they are looking for.
Now, this is not to say that one will need to have a photo shoot done, as this might be going a bit far. Not only that, this is likely to mean that they would end up looking different to how they look in their day-to-day life.
This might then allow them to receive a lot of attention, but it might also cause them to deceive others without realising it. One could take a few pictures themselves or they could get a friend to do it.
The Type of Image
The kind of pictures that they take can all depend on what they are looking for, and this means that this is not something that is set in stone. Having said that, if one is looking for a relationship they are likely to need different images to what they would need if they were looking for something casual.
When it comes to the former, it is not going to be necessary for one to have pictures where they are partly dressed. As if they were to do this, it could send out the wrong message, and it might then be even harder for them to attract the right person.
If one was to upload pictures where they are not wearing much or images where their head is missing and other people can only see their body, it can cause other people to believe that they are not looking for a relationship. And as they are looking at a screen and don’t know what they are like as a person, it can already be a challenge for people to see that they are a human being without one making it even worse by objectifying their body.
One could then say that other people should be able to realise that they are not an object, or that they should be able to control themselves. This is then similar to one walking through a rough neighbourhood at night and getting attacked, and then complaining about it.
In an ideal world one might be able to objectify themselves and not attract the ‘wrong’ kind of attention, but this is generally not how the world works. While one might not want to wait until they are with someone until they show their body, it might be in their best interest to.
What can also create conflict here is if one has a high need for approval, as this can make it even harder for them to no longer objectify their body. In this case, their body can be seen as something they can use to change how they feel about themselves.
If one can relate to this and they want to be able to accept themselves without needing other people approval, they may need to work with a therapist. Through doing this, they may also end up attracting someone who is better for them.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.