There are a number of things that human beings need in order to survive, and the same could be said when it comes to their ability to thrive. For example, food is something that everyone on this planet needs.
If someone doesn’t receive the food that they need, their time on this earth will soon come to an end. However, while intimacy is something that can allow one to thrive, they can still live without it.
It Is Not the Same
They will still be able to function; it won’t be as if their life will suddenly come to an end. But even though they will still be able to live, their life is not going to be as fulfilling as it would be if they experienced intimacy.
On the outside, it might seem as though they are just like anyone else, yet that will be as far as it goes. When it comes to what their inner world is like, it could be as if they are no longer alive.
A Deep Yearning
One could spend a lot of time thinking about what it would be like to be able to connect to their fellow human beings. Their heart is going to have the desire to express itself, and to be around others who are the same.
That will be as far as it will go, though, and this could mean that they will feel as though their life is empty. As a result of this, it won’t matter what they have achieved or what they have attained.
Out of Touch
Alternatively, they might not even be aware of this need, and this could be because they do everything they can to avoid how they feel. So, even if they do become aware of their need to open up to others and to experience deeper connections with their fellow human beings, it won’t matter.
The pain that they experience through ignoring this need could be channelled into another area of their life. This may have allowed them to become highly successful, at least in their career.
And as this is often seen as the only thing that matters in today’s world, it can allow them to receive a lot of positive feedback from others. One can then be running away from themselves but these people are not going to realise it.
This is not to say that they won’t share their body with others, as this could be what generally happens. Physically, they will connect to another human being, but that will be as far as it will go.
While this means that they will be getting naked, it is going to be more comfortable than it would be if they were to open their heart. When it comes to the people in their life, they might just share their views and what they have been up to.
Now, if one is able to experience intimacy, they might find it hard to understand why someone would be this way. They could start to think about how lonely their life would be if they only shared their mind and body.
This could be a sign that they have more or less always been able to experience intimacy with others. There may have been moments when they ended up being hurt by opening their heart to others, but this wouldn’t have had a lasting effect on their behaviour.
The moments they have had when they haven’t been hurt will overshadow the moments when they have. On the other hand, when one is unable to experience intimacy or is simply out of touch with this need; this is not going to be the case.
A Different Meaning
Throughout their adult life, they may have been with a number of people who harmed them in some way. Conversely, if they haven’t let anyone into their life as an adult, what happened when they were younger will probably have had the biggest effect.
This could have been a time when it wasn’t safe for them to open up and to be vulnerable; if they were to do this, they may have experienced even more pain. As a result of this, this would have set them up to believe that it wasn’t safe for them to open up.
A Big Effect
This would have set them up to experience inner conflict, but this would have been a time when they didn’t have much choice. Ultimately, the need to survive is far more important than the need to experience intimacy.
Consequently, if one was brought up in an environment where it wasn’t safe for them to open their heart, it is going to be normal for them to behave in this manner as an adult. The experiences that they had during their early years would have caused them to experience trauma and this would have stopped them from being able to develop boundaries.
If one can relate to this, and they want to change their life, it might be a good idea for them to work with a therapist or a healer. This will give the chance to look into what is taking place within them and then to work through it.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.