Just because one feels a certain way, it doesn’t mean these feelings reflect what is currently taking place in their life. One can then come to the conclusion that their feelings are irrational.
This could be something that one experience from time to time or it might be a regular occurrence. If it happens on the odd occasion, it might be something that one can handle but if it happens all the time, it is likely to cause them problems.
The Defining Factor
However, this can all depend on how severe it is when it does happen on the odd occasion; it could be so overwhelming that it is not something that one can overlook. It could end up affecting an important area of their life and this could end up affecting every other area.
In the case when it happens all the time, one might end up feeling paralysed and unable to experience any kind of self-control. How often it happens is then not the defining factor, what matters is how much of an effect it is having on one’s life.
While some people have a negative relationship with their feelings, there are going to be others who see them as a vital part of being able to live a fulfilling life. This doesn’t mean that they never feel bad, it means that they realise how empty their life would be without them.
To remove the ‘bad’ feelings would also end up removing the ‘good’ feelings and life would end up being empty and meaningless. This is something that can happen when one takes antidepressants.
So not only do they give life meaning, they are also what allows one to know whether something is right for them. When one is in tune with their body, they will soon know if they are doing the right thing or if they should be doing something else.
If one is not aware of how they feel, it is also going to be a challenge for them to know what their needs are. And if they don’t know what their needs are, there is not much chance of them getting them met.
One can then end up doing what other people expect them to do or what pleases others. Yet when they are in tune with their feelings, it is going to be normal for them to know what they need.
This is not to say one will always have their needs fulfilled but as they know what their needs are, they’re going to have a greater chance of meeting them then they would if they were disconnected from their feelings.
A whole Human Being
Through being in touch with one’s feelings, it is likely to mean that they are a whole human being. Just because one has a physical body, it doesn’t mean they feel human and this could mean that they are disconnected from their body.
Their attention is then primarily in their head and what is taking place down below is then a mystery. This is not to say that one is unaware of physical pain, what it means is that they are unaware of how they feel.
When one’s feelings reflect reality it is going to assist their life, but when their feelings don’t, it is going to have the opposite effect. Their feelings are then not guiding them, they are misguiding them.
How they feel has nothing to do with what is currently taking place in their life or the environment they are currently in. This could mean that one’s emotional experiencing is a ten when it should really be about a two, for instance. Or it could mean that how one feels has nothing to do with their current experience.
One might find that when they go into a social environment that they start to feel anxious, and this could happen when they are around people they know. But if one was to stop and to breathe deeply, they might see that what is taking place within them doesn’t match up with what is happening without.
Through listing to music or watching a film, one could start to feel sad and as they step back and reflect on how they feel, they might wonder why they feel as they do.
One could achieve a goal or move onto the next level in their area of work and start to feel guilty. After working so hard to achieve what they have achieved, they might wonder what is going on.
So based on how one feels in the situations above and others, it would be normal for them to believe that their feelings are irrational. One approach would be for one to place their attention on their thoughts and to monitor them.
They could believe that their feelings are a consequence of what is taking place in their head. Through changing their thoughts, they will stop having irrational feelings. But while this might work for some people, it could send one down the wrong path.
Even though how one feels doesn’t reflect what is currently taking place, the current situation could be triggering feelings that are trapped in one’s body. There would then have been a time in one’s life when these feelings were rational.
The years have then gone by, but the emotional experiences of the past have remained in their body. And the reason one is not aware of this could be a sign that one has disconnected from what took place and this could be a way for them to protect themselves from the pain.
These feelings might go back to one’s childhood and while their body remembers, their mind has no recollection of what took place. This could mean that one is carrying trauma and they have then forgotten for a good reason.
If one was to get back in touch with this pain it could be overwhelming and this means one might need the assistance of a therapist or a healer. As one’s emotional experiences of the past have been processed, their feelings will begin to reflect their present circumstances.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.