The other day I was sat next to someone and soon after this, their partner came over and had a good cry in their presence. I was in awe of how easy it was for this person to cry and that it didn’t even matter that I was there.
It was then clear that this person had a good connection with their own emotions and that they didn’t carry any shame when it came to showing this side of their nature. If they did, it didn’t stop them from crying around others.
The Healthy Thing to Do
After this, I started to think about how crying is often seen as something negative and as a sign that someone is weak, which causes a lot of people to keep their pain in. Ultimately, crying is another way for someone to release pain.
So, if someone doesn’t feel comfortable crying in their own company, let alone around others, it is going to cause them to suffer. The pain within them will start to build up and this will make it harder to for them to feel at peace.
Seeing this person cry so easily also made me think about how hard it was for me to cry a number of years ago. It became clear that I had a lot of pain within me, but I didn’t feel comfortable crying in my own company or around others.
This was clear because I had a lot of pain in my chest area and I would often feel down or flat. Even so, I believed that I had to keep everything in; if I didn’t, it would mean that I was weak and lacked self-control.
This was in part due to how I was treated when I expressed my emotions as a child and the conditioning I had received as a result to being a man. What allowed me to see that there was nothing wrong with crying and that it was important, were the books I read and the healers I worked with.
It was such a relief when I first started to cry out the grief that was within me – it was incredibly liberating. Doing this allowed me to become stronger and the stronger I got, the easier it was for me to cry.
With this in mind, if you believe that crying is something negative, it will be in your best interest to let go of this belief. This will allow you to let go of pain, as opposed to pain being held it in your body and building up.
If you find it hard to cry, you may need to work with a therapist or a healer, for instance. Through being in their presence and once you have developed enough trust; it might make it easier for you to go where you wouldn’t have gone by yourself.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.