When I was reading ‘The Integrity Of Personality’ by Anthony Storr, there were a lot of things that stood out. This is a book that came out a few decades ago, but it is full of great information.
And one of the things that stood out was when he basically said that a therapist can’t make a client do anything. He said that when someone is ready to behave in a certain way, they will, and that this is not something that can be forced.
The Only Reason
If they were to change their behaviour just because they had been told to do so, it would be coming from their need to please their therapist. As a result of this, they wouldn’t be listening to their true-self.
It then wouldn’t matter if they were to behave in a way that is seen as the right way to behave, as this will just be an act. Their behaviour will be motivated by their head, not their body.
Their head will be the part of them that looks outside for guidance, while their body will operate in a different way. Their true-self, the part of them that will be found in their body, will give them the guidance they need.
If their behaviour was to change after they had been told to change it by their therapist, it might seem as though they are making progress. However, this won’t be something they are emotionally on board with.
A Different Way
Now, if after working with a therapist someone felt the need to behave in a certain way, it wouldn’t be an act. Their behaviour would be driven by their feelings, not their need to please anyone.
This will show that they are building a connection with themselves and are not reliant on someone else to tell them how to behave. Clearly, if someone is working with a therapist in order to embrace their true-self, this is what will need to occur.
Along with this, there was a time when a healer said that I may feel the need to lead more. Due to the work that we were doing, he said that this is something that could take place as time went by.
He was then not telling me that this is something I needed to do; he was saying that this may be one of consequences of the work we were doing. I then didn’t come away feeling as though I needed to change my behaviour.
I think this illustrates how important it is for someone to pay attention to what they feel called to do, as opposed to doing something for any other reason. For this to take place, they will need to have a good connection with their feelings.
If someone finds it hard to connect with their feelings, it can show that they are carrying trauma. This may mean that they will need to reach out for the support of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.