If one was to think about what they used to wear when they were younger, they are likely to see that they no longer wear the same clothes. Perhaps they got to a point where they no longer fitted them and this caused them to wear something else.
They had to let go and while they may have enjoyed wearing them, this was something they had to do. The years will have passed and this could be something they have long forgotten about.
This is an example of what can happen when one is able to let go and doesn’t feel the need to hold on. When they can respond in this way, they might think about the past from time to time; but they are unlikely to be caught up in the past.
The same could be said if one was to have a drink in a coffee shop; they are unlikely to end up attached to the cup they use. Therefore, they can have their drink and then carry on with the rest of their life.
In examples such as these, it could be said the reason it is easier for one to let go is because there is less attachment involved. As a result of this, there is no reason for them to get caught up and to leave the present moment.
However, there are going to be times when it is not as easy as this, and one is then going to find it lot harder to live in the moment. Over time, they may be able to let go and carry on with their life.
Having said that, there is also the chance that one could end up in a position where it is not possible for them to let go. And no matter how much time passes, they are still going to be holding on.
On one side, they are going to have the need to let go, and on the other side, it is not going to be possible for them to do this. Even if this relates to one part of their life, for instance, it could still end up having an impact on every other area.
All the time one is holding onto something, it is going to take their energy away from the present moment, and when this happens, they are not going to be as available. The energy they would put into the present moment is then going to be channelled into the past.
Certain areas of their life can then end up being overlooked and their life can start to get worse. Through holding onto something, they might lose all interest in the present moment.
If part of them wants to let go and another part of them doesn’t, they may feel as though they have no control. Alternatively, if they don’t want to let go, the people around then could tell them that they ‘need’ to move on.
But even if one knows they need to move on, it doesn’t mean they won’t be told the same thing by the people around them. Intellectually, they know what they need to do; however, this is still not going to be enough.
Through the pressure one puts on themselves, it can be normal for them to feel bad and as though they are doing something wrong, and if other people are doing the same thing, it can cause them to feel even worse.
This can also cause them to feel as though they are weak and that they haven’t got what it takes to let go. Up until this point, they may have tried to let go by focusing on what is taking place in their mind.
If they believe that the key to letting to go is to change what is taking place in their mind, it shows that they are trying to use force. This is a common approach, and while there may be times when this approach works, this is not always going to be the case.
When someone has this outlook, they can also believe that their feelings are being caused by their thoughts. Changing what is taking place in their head is then going to be the way for them to let go.
The Other Way
However, while one’s feelings can be caused by their thoughts, their thoughts can also be caused by their feelings. Therefore, if one’s mind is caught up in the past, it could be a sign that they need to put their mind to one side.
This will give them the chance to look at what is taking place at an emotional level, and through doing this, they may find out why it has not been possible for them to let go. If one has an emotional build-up, it is going to be a challenge for them to live in the moment.
When something comes to an end, there is the chance that one will experience loss, and this could be the end of a relationship or the end of a certain period in their life, among other things. As a result of this, one is also likely to experience grief, and there will also be other emotions that one experiences.
There can be times when one experiences loss and the grief will be minimal, and there can be others times when it will be far more severe. Ideally, one will allow themselves to feel their grief and to mourn their loss by crying out the pain that is within them.
Holding It In
Through this, one will gradually be able to let go of their grief and the other emotions that they are experiencing; this will also be a way for them to let go of the stress hormones that have built-up within them. As important as this process is, it doesn’t always take place, and this is partly because crying is often seen as something to avoid.
Crying is not always seen as a sign of strength and as something that plays an important part in one’s emotional health; it is often seen as a sign of weakness. This then sets one up to hold onto how they feel and the mind can then start to see the body as the problem.
When it comes to crying, one will need to surrender to how they feel, and this means there is no need for them to do anything. If one has an emotional build-up, it is not going to be possible for them to cry out their pain in one go; this is something that will take time.
One may also find that they can’t cry or that they feel overwhelmed when they do, and in this case, it will be important for them to seek external support. This could be from a therapist and/or a support group.
If you feel this has been of value, please leave a comment, like or get in touch. And feel free to share this article, as many others have.
Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.
Self-Love - How To Develop Self-Love And Self-Worth