When one is unable to let go, they’re going to end up using their energy to hold onto what they no longer need. And as they no longer need what they’re holding onto, it is not going to affect their ability to receive anything new.
What one is holding onto no longer has a purpose and it is therefore going to lead to inner conflict. And while this could be something that is affecting one area of their life, it could be something that is having an impact on every area.
This inner block is then stopping one from being able to embrace life and to live in the present moment. But while this might be something they are aware of and/or something the people around them are aware of, it doesn’t mean that one can just let go.
There is the chance that one tells themselves that they need to let go, and this could be something they hear from the people in their life. Here, one experiences pressure from the inside and from the outside.
So if not being able to let go wasn’t enough already, one is likely to experience additional pressure. And while what they tell themselves and what other people say can sound logical and the ‘right’ thing to do, one can end up wondering why they can’t let go.
The need to let go is on one side, but on the other side is the need is to hold on. And all the time this is the case, one is going to be unable to completely let go of what no longer serves them.
They may find that they have been able to let go of certain things for instance, but that this is as far as it goes. There is then certain point they can get to and then they are unable to go any further.
This can relate to anger and how one is holding onto an experience or a number of experiences where they were taken advantage of. Perhaps one is still experiencing a since of loss after relationship has ended and they are unable to move on.
One may find that they are unable to let go of what happened many years ago and while time has passed, they’re still caught up in what took place. During these years, one may have been abused, neglected and/or lost someone that they were close to, for example.
Weeks, months and even years may have passed, but one still feels the same. So as well as the problems that it could cause in regards to being able to receive, to live in the present moment and to experience inner harmony, it could also cause one to experience physical problems.
And this is because their body has to hold onto the emotional weight and so there are bound to be consequences. One can feel tired and weighed down, and their mind is likely to reflect the emotional build up in their body. As a way to handle what is going on in the body, the mind can end up being obsessive and out of control.
In the self development world it is not uncommon for the ego to be blamed whenever one experiences some kind of inner or outer challenge. And this has caused the ego to be demonized by a lot of people and to be seen as ‘bad’.
However, the ego is there to keep one alive, amongst other things and therefore it is not something that one could live without. When something is familiar, it will be classed as safe by the ego.
However, just because something has kept one alive at one point in time, it doesn’t mean that they need it to keep them alive at another. What at first saved them could end up harming their life or even killing them at another point.
In order for one to let go of how they feel, they will need to face their feelings. This means that one will need to feel them and not avoid them. However, this is only going to happen if one feels safe, if they don’t, they’re going to stop this process from taking place.
They might express certain emotions, such as anger, but not allow themselves to go deeper and to express their full range of emotions. And this is going to be due to the associations they have formed around expressing how they feel.
On one side, one will need to feel that it is safe to express how they feel and on the other, one will need to be in an environment where they feel safe. This applies to whether one is looking to let go of how they feel by themselves or whether they are working with a therapist.
If one is working with a therapist, then it will be vital that they feel safe around them. A therapist will provide the external support one needs to gradually let go. If one doesn’t feel safe, then one is likely to only get so far and to sabotage their growth.
So if one was to express how they feel, they might believe that they will be rejected, abandoned and/or harmed in some way. At a deeper level, they might believe that they would not survive if they were to express how they feel and that it would be overwhelming.
These associations may have been formed during ones childhood years and were therefore true at that point. As an adult, one is stronger and has what it takes to face them.
However, one may need external support and this can enable them to go where they wouldn’t go by themselves. They will hold the space and although one might still have inner resistance to letting go, it will start to disappear.
This is why it is important that one pays attention to how feel around the person that they’re working with. One will need to listen to their body; as this part of them will know if it is safe for them to let go. A therapist or a healer can provide this support.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.