As soon as something ends, there is the chance for something to begin; just as when something begins, there is the chance for something to end. This is the cycle of life, and something that will continue until the time that one passes on.
However, this is not something that always takes place and so instead of one being able to let go, they end up holding on. It is then not possible for them to experience a new beginning in their life.
One can then end up feeling stuck and while they don't want to stay where they are or for something to continue, they can’t move on or put something to an end. This is naturally going to create conflict and it could cause ones whole life to come to a standstill.
So on one hand, this could be something that has affected ones whole life and then change is going to be something they avoid at all costs. They are then not moving forward, if anything, they are moving backwards
Their life could be similar to the film ‘groundhog day’, where every day is the same and there is not much for them to get out of bed for. On the other side, it could be something that is affecting a certain area of their life and this one area could end up affecting their whole life.
One could be aware of the damage that is being done, or it could be something they have no awareness off. Just as the people around them might be aware of what is taking place and be only too happy to point out what is happening.
They could say that one ‘needs to let go’ and how they have no reason to hold on any longer. But regardless of how aware one is or what the people around them are saying, it might not make any difference.
When one looks at their life and when other people look at it, it could be seen as an example of self sabotage. It is then not someone else who is stopping them from moving forward, it is themselves.
Their biggest enemy is the person in the mirror and until this person is able to let go, their life is not going to change. But while this is the case, one can end up being disconnected from the reason why they can’t let go and end believing that it is because of what is taking place externally.
This inner disconnection can then cause one to feel like a victim and to believe that the world is against them. One is likely to end up having experiences and meeting people who reflect what is taking place within them.
And if what is taking place within them doesn’t change, what is taking place without is unlikely to change either. But even though this is going to cause one to suffer, it doesn’t mean that they are going to be able to bring their point of focus to what is taking place within them.
So on one side is the need to let go and for one to move forward and on the other side, is the fact that something is stopping this natural drive from being fulfilled. Clearly something is not right and one is not experiencing inner harmony.
Two Types Of Suffering
On one level, there is the suffering that one is experiencing through holding on and on another level, there is the pain that one would have to experience if they were to actually let go. It could be said that the first type of pain relates to the symptoms that have appeared due to one not being able to let go.
The pain that is below these symptoms can relate to the emotional pain that one would have to experience if they were to actually let go. The symptoms can last forever and even get worse, whereas the pain underneath the symptoms might be more painful in the short-term, but it won’t last forever.
So if one was to let go, they could soon experience a sense of loss, and so holding on stops them from having to experience how they feel. Holding on is then a way for them to keep these feelings at bay, but while it stops them from having to face their pain, it also sabotages their life.
And this pain could have been trapped in one’s body for so long, that one is not even aware of it; the only thing they are aware of is the fact they can’t let go. How they feel on the inside is going to define what letting go means to them.
One may have had experiences in their adult life and/or during their childhood that caused them to experience loss. And these losses were not grieved; they have done everything they can to keep things the same and to stop anything new or different from entering their life.
If something is new or different, it could trigger what pain that is within them and this is going to be interpreted as a threat to their survival by their ego mind. What this shows is how much pain one can be carrying within them and this is why letting go can be incredibly difficult.
So if one can’t let go, it could mean that they need to release the grief that has remained trapped within their body, and this can relate to the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationships and/or unmet childhood need.
And along with trapped grief, one could also be carrying the following feelings: hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness, shame, guilt and death. These feelings can be faced and released with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.
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Oliver J R Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.