Loss: Is It Possible To Get Over A Loss?

In today’s fast-paced world, there is often the need for instant gratification, and when something doesn’t happen straight away, it can lead to all kinds of problems. This can be a time when someone will experience a strong emotional reaction, and the sooner they get what they want the sooner they will settle down.

The Ideal
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It is then going to be important for them to get what they want, when they want it, as this will stop them from getting worked up. This is then going to be something that will have a positive effect on their well-being.

Therefore, even though they are impatient, it won’t have much of an effect on their life. However, while this can be seen as the ultimate way to live, it doesn’t mean that this is actually the case.

Appreciation

For one thing, if one could have what they want, when they want it, it would stop them from being able to appreciate what they receive. Instead of having the put the work in or waiting for something, it would just be given to them.

Yet, if they had to put the effort in, they would probably be more grateful when they do attain something. The amount of time, effort and energy that they put in would stop them from taking it for granted.

Patience

And through having to wait, it can have a bigger effect on them when they do get want they want. During the time that they are waiting, they would have spent a lot of time thinking about what will happen when they get it.

Through building it up in their mind, when it did arrive it would have had a far bigger impact on them than if this didn’t take place. If one’s desires are always met shortly after they have them, what they receive is unlikely to have a lot of value to them.

At Times

In general, there are going to be things that one can have more or less straight away and other things that they will have to wait for. For example, when it comes to achieving something significant, it is unlikely to happen overnight.

As a result of this, it will be essential for one to have the ability to delay gratification or they won’t get very far. It could be said that when it comes to being successful, having the ability to delay gratification is incredibly important.

On The Lookout

Even so, this doesn’t mean that one won’t look for ways to get to where they want to be faster. When someone goes to the gym and uses supplements, this can be seen as a way for them progress faster.

In this case, it could be said that they are taking the sensible approach, and this is unlikely to have a negative effect on them. The part of them that is prepared to wait is working with the part of them that doesn’t, and this can lead to an outcome that will please both sides.

A Role to Play

What this shows is that the part of them that wants to have something instantly is not something that needs to be removed; it has a role to play. It would then be more accurate to say that one simply needs to get this part of them under control.

If they can do this, it can give them the drive they need to move forward, and it can remind them when something is taking too long to take place. Without this part, one could end up going along with something even when it is not going anywhere.

A Limited Time

Ultimately, one is not going to life forever, and so it is going to be a good idea for them to be open to ways that may allow them to cut the amount of time it will take them to achieve something. When this happens, one will be using this side of them to their advantage.

It could then be said that they have a certain level of self-control, and this can make it easier for them to achieve their goals. And while the need to experience instant gratification can make someone want something straight away, it can also play a part in their desire to change how they feel.

Loss

This is something that can occur when one has experienced loss, and due to what has taken place, they are likely to be in a lot of pain. They can end up having the desire to put an end to their pain and for this to happen sooner rather than later.

There is then not just going to be the need for instant gratification, there will be the need to avoid pain. This could be put down to the fact that they have things to do, and that they haven’t got time to be this way.

The Answer

One could end up looking for a way to put an end to their pain so that they can ‘get over’ what has taken place. It might only be a matter of time before they come across something that promises to do just that.

This is then going to be similar to how one can drop something on the floor, make a mess, and before long, it can be cleaned up. It is then going to be as if nothing has happened and they can carry on as normal.

Back to Reality

When one takes this approach, they are not only going to be deceived by the people/person who says they can get over how they feel; they will also be deceiving themselves. As although it can be easy to clean up something has been dropped on the floor, the same approach won’t work when it comes to what is taking place within them.
 
It would be more accurate to say that one will never ‘get over’ what has taken place; the only thing that will happen is that it will gradually get easier for them to handle it. One way of looking at it is would be to say that the grief that is within them is there to remind them of the person who has passed on.

Awareness

After they have been grieving for a certain amount of time, they may begin to settle down. There can then be times when they will feel as though they are back where they started, and this is because this is not a linear process.

This pain could also come to the surface when it would have been the other person’s birthday and at other special occasions, for instance. What matters is that one allows themselves to surrender to what is taking place, and reaches out for support if they need to.

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Oliver JR Cooper
http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk