The other day I saw a picture of a woman’s face on social media and this picture had received a fair amount ‘likes’. That wasn’t it though, as she had received a number of positive comments.
One of these comments went into how good she looked and there were others that went even further, calling her “beautiful”. I thought that this woman must have appreciated all this positive feedback.
Nevertheless, this wasn’t just a normal picture; this woman was wearing a fair amount of makeup. I started to think about if this woman could actually accept these compliments, or if they only went in so far.
The reason for this is that the makeup had covered up her face, meaning that these people couldn’t see her real face. It made me wonder if deep down, she wondered if her real face would receive the same feedback or if it was good enough.
A Natural Reaction
This is then similar to how someone famous can be told how great they are and this can make them feel good. Yet, what they could think about is if these people would be saying the same thing if they were not famous.
In the first case, these people can’t see what she really looks like and, in the second, these people don’t know who the person really is; the only thing they can see is what they have projected onto them. In reality, a lot of these people won’t even care about who they are behind the role that they play.
So, when it comes to the woman who was wearing a lot of makeup, there will be an upside and a downside. The upside will be that it allows her to receive positive feedback; the downside is that it can cause her to believe that she doesn’t look good enough without it.
This is then no different to how someone can play a role and receive positive feedback for the role that they play. They can end up being told how great and nice they are, but as they are playing a role, this feedback might not go in and they can feel like a fraud.
If this woman is in a relationship, her partner might not ever get to see her without makeup. She will then be with someone, but it won’t be possible for her to completely let her guard down and to connect with them.
She could believe that her partner would end up losing interest if they were to see her without the mask that she wears. This is unlikely to be a very deep or fulfilling relationship.
Her true-self will be covered up and her partner will only be able to get so close to her. Now, as she doesn’t feel comfortable with who she is, there is a strong chance that she will be with someone who is the same.
She probably won’t be able to completely relax in their presence, and this means that her time with her partner may be more like a performance than a time where she can actually be with her partner. If she was to reveal herself and her partner lost interest, then it would show that she is with the wrong person.
Intimacy is not something that can be experienced if someone is wearing a mask or playing a role. Having said all this, this doesn’t mean that I believe that women shouldn’t wear makeup, far from it.
In general, what I believe is that there is a time and a place for makeup, and that it is there to accentuate a woman’s features, as opposed to totally changing her appearance. Personally, if I’m attracted to a woman, I want to know who she really is - behind the makeup and the roles that she plays.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.