Physically men and women are very different; with a woman being an example of the feminine and a man being an example the masculine. But while this much is true, on the inside they are both made of masculine and feminine traits.
And for a long time, men generally behaved in ways that were masculine and women behaved in ways that were feminine. However, as time has passed, women have become more masculine and men have become more feminine in some cases.
As men oppressed women for so many years, this is not much of a surprise. And this can be seen as a natural reaction to being dominated for so long. Men are then facing the consequences of what their ancestors did and after having a sense of supremacy for so long, are getting a taste of their own medicine so to speak.
But whether this outlook sits well with someone or not, it doesn’t take much effort to see that the old roles have changed in a lot of cases and this change needed to take place. However, when change does take place, things often get worse before they get better.
So it has all gone from one extreme to the other. And the next stage is surely for men and women to embrace both sides of their nature.
It is often said that people are more masculine or feminine in nature and while this could be true, it doesn’t mean that rejecting the other side is normal. Both men and women might prefer to be more masculine or feminine for instance and with this being how they define themselves.
And just like how some people prefer milk chocolate to dark chocolate, this is to be expected. But when someone has completely rejected their masculine or feminine side, then something is not right.
Through people rejecting one side and becoming firmly rooted in the other, it can then seem normal for people to only have one side to their nature. In the past this could be put down to their gender and as men and woman’s behaviour has changed so much, this no longer fits.
Something else is at work and this is going to be due to a combination of factors, such as: childhood development, friends and society. Each of these will play an important role in whether one embraces or rejects each side.
And each of these sides has different benefits to one’s life and this means that one side is no better than the other; they both have their uses and are meant to complement each other. Competition can only arise when there is lack of harmony between the two: in their natural state they will be in harmony.
The masculine is going to relate to ones assertive nature; their ability to take action and to stand up for themselves. Saying no, giving and having boundaries are also a part of this. Having the courage to go after one’s dreams and to speak their truth is another expression. These are just some examples and there are many others.
On the other hand, the feminine refers to ones vulnerable side and this also relates to emotions and to being passive and going with the flow of life. Here, one in simply ‘being’ and not ‘doing’ and they are receiving, as opposed to giving. Having a lack of boundaries and saying yes is also part of the feminine. And there are numerous other aspects to the feminine.
To always reject the other side is going to create problems in ones life and create an imbalance. And of this has become an identity, it could be a challenge to accept that one has both sides within them.
This doesn’t mean that one is weak for having them or that one side one is better than the other; they are both as important as each other. And a big reason as to why one would reject one side is because this is what feels safe. Now, one might not consciously realise this, but at a deeper level, it is likely to be the case.
And when one is not comfortable with their masculine or feminine side, their outer reality is going to reflect it back to them. This is going to be through people and situations that make them feel uncomfortable, irritated and even cause extreme fear.
One might find that there are certain things that annoy them or make them feel uneasy and this could be around the people from the same gender or the opposite one. Whenever one is around people who are assertive or angry, they could feel a bit tense and feel the need to protect themselves or to get away.
Or one could be around people who are overly emotional or passive and end up feeling angry or the need to tell them to pull themselves together. And while these may appear to be nothing more than external problems, if one was to take a closer look they would see that they are being reminded of what they have rejected within them.
So the society one is brought up in will play a big role, as will the kind of people that one spends their time with. And what is often the biggest factor in whether one embraces or rejects a certain trait within them will be what took place during their childhood.
What they were allowed to express then becomes what they identify with; this could primarily be through encouragement or through the use of fear.
People often mimic what their same sex parent was life, so if a man had a mother who was masculine and father that was more feminine, then he could become more feminine in nature. Or if a man had a father who was more masculine and a mother who was more feminine, he could mimic his father.
And if a woman had a mother who was more feminine and a father who was more masculine, then she could turn out like her mother. Just as a woman could have a mother who was more masculine and turn out just like her. The only way one could survive in the family system was to go along with the role that they were given.
These are just examples of what can cause one to be as they are; they are not the absolute truth. If one doesn’t feel safe when it comes to standing up for themselves or in expressing their emotions, no matter what their gender is, then they might be due to an emotional build up within them.
And so they might need to seek the assistance of therapist or a healer to release these trapped emotions. Or changing ones behaviour may be enough; what one needs to do can all depend on how much of a challenge this is.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.