It is not uncommon for someone to be in a position where they find it hard to stand their ground. Therefore, instead of assertive themselves when it is necessary, they just allow other people to walk over them.
Along with this, they may have the tendency to say yes when they would rather say no, causing them to do things that they don’t really want to do. There may be times when behaving in this way won’t have much of an effect on them, while there will be other times when it does.
However, even if something doesn’t have a big effect on them, it will be yet another time in their life when they haven’t been able to assert themselves. Each instance will build on the other, causing them to feel even more weighed down by life.
Consequently, it is going to be a challenge for them to feel empowered and as though they have an effect on their life. Still, when they are around others, they could create the impression that they are happy with the way their life is going.
They could typically be described as someone who is calm and only too happy to be there for others. One could be seen as a selfless human being, someone who is only too happy to put other people’s needs before their own.
From the outside, then, it can seem as though they are a model human being, yet this will be nothing more than a facade. If these people were able to tune into how one really felt, their view of them would soon change.
If they are in an intimate relationship, they will most likely be used to feeling as though they are invisible. But while they could blame their partner for what is going on, this is only going to take place because they let it happen.
Focusing on their partners needs and ignoring their own needs is likely to be the norm. If they accept the fact that they are playing a part in all this, there will be no reason for them to see themselves a victim.
Out of Balance
They may find that there are a number of people in their life who controlling and have idea about how intrusive they are. It could then be said that these people need to bring themselves in a bit.
If these people were to bring their energy in and to be more receptive to other people’s needs, it would make it easier for them to respect other people’s boundaries. On the other hand, one needs to be able to push their energy out and to focus less on other people’s needs.
Some of people they come into contact with are then going to the complete opposite of them, or so it would seem. Deep down, they may have more in common with them than they realise.
Once one is able to embrace the other side of their nature, they are likely to find that they rarely come into contact with people who try to walk over them. And, when this does happen, they will typically know how to respond.
If one was to reflect on how they have behaved, they may come to see that they have a stronger connection with their feminine aspect than they do with their masculine aspect. In fact, they may see that they have a very weak connection to the latter.
The masculine aspect will be what gives them courage, strength and aggression, and the energy behind these traits, along with others, will allow them to stand their ground. One might believe that this energy is not inside them or else they wouldn’t behave in this way.
This energy will be within them, but what will have most likely caused them to disconnect from it is what took place during their early years. During this time, it wouldn’t have been safe for them to assert themselves.
As a result of this, they would have had to disconnect from their instincts and to lose touch with their natural aggression. If they had expressed themselves in this way, it may have caused them to be harmed.
Through being small and dependent, they wouldn’t have had a lot of power, and this would have meant that they had to lose touch with their fight instinct, becoming extremely obedient in the process. But, while this would have kept them alive, it would have set them up to suffer as an adult.
Disconnecting from this part of themselves wouldn’t have stopped them from being abused, but it may have may have minimised how often it took place. They wouldn’t have been able to run or to fight back at this age, so they were left with one option – to disconnect from the part of them that wanted to fight back and to keep them alive.
This would have been a time in their life when they experienced a fair amount of trauma, and this trauma is likely to have stayed within them to this day. Taking this into account, one will need to deal with this trauma if they want to operate as a whole human being.
This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer, for instance. What matters is that one does something about this and doesn’t continue to life a half-life.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 25 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.