If one is into self-development or if they simply stay up to date with what its taking place in the mainstream media, they may have heard people talk about how men need to embrace their feminine side/nature. This is because they are out of touch with this side of themselves, and unless this takes place, they will continue to be out of balance.
All the Same
As a result of this, all men are going to be put in the same box, and it won’t matter if they don’t experience life in this way. One way of looking at this would be to say that this will be an example of black and white thinking.
When someone puts all men in the same box, they are going to see all men as being the same. There are a number of reasons as to why someone would be this way, and this is naturally going to make it harder for them to think clearly.
What this can show is that this is someone who has had a number of experiences that have had a big effect on them. How they felt during these experiences can then be what is defining their outlook.
One will then have felt a certain way and this will then have gone onto define what they would believe. So instead of being able to take a step back and to see if what they believe is the truth, they will be in a position where they are controlled by their emotions.
It would then be a good idea for them to develop the ability to detach from what is taking place within them. This will then give them the ability to question what they believe, as opposed to being defined by it.
What can cause one to see everything as being either black or white is if their brain hasn’t developed in the right way. Black and white thinking is also part of the borderline personality disorder, and this can be the result of childhood abuse and/or neglect.
The Missing Part
And when it comes to what men need to do to in order to be a whole human being, there are a number things that are often mentioned. One thing that is often spoken about is how important it is for them to talk about their feelings.
This can be seen as something that women do all the time; with this being something that has a positive effect on their mental and emotional health. Therefore, if men were to do this, it would make it easier for them to function.
Holding It In
It is often said that a problem shared is a problem halved, and this shows the benefits of opening up to others. After all, no one is their own island; we all need help from time to time.
However, clearly it wouldn’t be right to say that all women open up and all men keep their problems to themselves. If someone isn’t enslaved by what they believe, they will see that this is the kind of advice that applies to people in general.
People are generally more disconnected from each other than they were in the past, and today’s world allows people to do so much for themselves. This can then cause someone to believe that they are an independent human being.
What can also play a part here is if someone feels ashamed of their needs, and this can stop them from being able to reach out for others. It then won’t matter if they are a man or a woman, as they will keep everything to themselves.
When it is said that women open up and men keeping everything to themselves, it can be seen as the result of the conditioning they have received. Thus, it is simply a case of men unlearning what they have learnt.
Based on this outlook, men and women are inherently the same. But while this if often seen as the truth, one thing that goes against this is that it has been said that women experience greater levels of oxytocin when they open up.
If this is the truth, it is not going to be much of a surprise for more women than men to open up about how they feel. Doing so will allow them to feel good; whereas if this wasn’t the case, they might also be more likely to keep things to themselves.
In addition to this, if a man is in touch with his masculine nature, he is likely to be more concerned with finding a solution. He can believe that talking about something won’t solve it; what will solve it is doing something about it.
In The Middle
And while men are often told that they need to embrace their feminine nature/side, it could also be said that there is more to it than this. For one thing, a lot of men are out of touch with their masculine nature/side.
It is then not that a man is stuck on one side and needs to integrate more of the other; it is as though he is stuck in no man’s land. This can then cause him to lack confidence, to find it hard to stand his ground, to be emotionally unstable and it can stop him from going after what he desires, amongst other things.
When a man is like this, he can feel weak, depressed and as though he has no control over his life. The part of his nature that needs to be embraced will be dormant, and unless this changes, he will continue to suffer.
There are, of course, a number of reasons as to why a man would experience life in this way. On one side, there is the conditioning he has received throughout his life, and on the other side, there is the effect his early years had on him.
A Closer Look
During his early years, his farther might not have been around, or if he was, he might have been emotionally unavailable. The guidance that he needed to develop this part of him would then have been missing.
So instead of feeling comfortable with who he is, he can feel ashamed of his own nature. Being nice, as opposed to being authentic, is then what is normal; with his true-self and natural aggression waiting to be embraced.
If someone can relate to this and they want to change their life, they may need to work with a therapist. This will give them the chance to look into what is taking place within them and to work through it.
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Oliver JR Cooper
Oliver JR Cooper
Author, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.