Although pain is part is life and can’t be avoided, the western world and the countries influenced by it, are largely focused on eradicating pain. Pain is then something that has no purpose or reason for existing and therefore has to be removed.
There are all types of pain that one can experience, from physical, mental and emotional. The type of pain that is often avoided the most is emotional and emotions are rarely embraced in today’s world.
But although people can run away from them and engage in all kinds of escapes to avoid how they feel, they won’t just disappear. One will be able to numb their emotional pain for a short time and even become completely cut off from it; if this behaviour were to become a habit.
When one feels deep pain and needs to do something about it, one of society’s many options is likely to be utilized. This could be alcohol, drugs, food, sex and even work, amongst other things.
This will lead to a short term relief and if one is in a dark place, this is going to be greatly appreciated. However, while it will alter how one feels, it is unlikely to lead to a deeper understanding if this were to continue.
One is not facing and looking into the reasons for why they feel as they do, they are doing all they can to go in the opposite direction. And if they do know what the reason is, they are still not facing their pain directly.
When something is not working in life, one will need to take a closer look. If a car is not working, a mechanic will look under the bonnet for example. Through doing this, they will soon be able to gain and understanding of exactly what the problem is.
If one was to ignore the problem and not ask a mechanic or something similar to assist them, they are unlikely to ever know what is wrong with their car. Their understanding of the problem won’t change and over time, the car could get even worse.
In the case of a human being, running out from their pain won’t enable them to understand what is going on. And this is going to mean that their understanding of themselves is also not going to increase.
On The Surface
It will then be normal to live on the surface of oneself; for if one is not looking within for the answers, they are likely to look without. As human beings are inherently emotional beings, to disconnect from how one feels is going to cause one to disconnect from a big part of who they are.
The outside will then be a place where one looks for meaning and to feel fulfilled. And in some cases this meaning will be based solely on jumping through the hoops that society lays out. This could be looking right, having the right things or behaving in the right way.
But if one is cut off from their inner core and what is going on within them, then getting caught up in the world’s dramas is going to be expected. They allow one to avoid who they are and what is true for them.
And while there is suffering involved in this, it allows one to keep a distance from their inner unrest and unease. At times it can seem as though it is just a matter of pain and the best thing one can do is to cover it up, but this is not completely accurate.
In some cases, one can feel as though the pain that they carry within them is never ending and that the best they can do is to put up with it or to avoid it. This could be pain that has formed through a loss in their life for instance.
The loss of a person, of not getting their wants and needs met in childhood or the ending of a relationship.
Here, one might be experiencing a deep sense of grief and of being powerless. And to experience something so intense, it is not going to be much of a surprise for someone to come to the conclusion that this will never end.
When this pain is faced and one might need additional support to do this, its intensity will gradually begin to diminish. Through doing this, one is entering their own being and this is happening through the destruction of their own pain.
Out of this destruction will be what is constructive and this will be one’s own unique voice. When this pain is not faced directly, one can end up being stuck in a place of destruction. This could be the destruction of their own body and mind or inflicting harm on their environment or the people in it.
More Than Pain
Pain is then something that has the power to elevate one’s life and not as something that is simply there to cause harm. The perspective that one has towards their pain is also going to play a part in how it affects them.
So it can be an ally in ones growth as a human being or it can be a burden and something that one must avoid at all costs. It comes down to the outlook that one has and whether they are willing to question what they have been told and what they believe.
There is going to be pain that one experiences through daily events and then there is going to be the pain that they carry from the past. The past is also going to influence ones present life and could cause them to overreact to things.
In one does have a build up from the past, they might need to seek the assistance of a therapist or a healer. Here, one will be able to release the emotional pain that is trapped in their body.
Oliver JR Cooper
Author of 26 books, Transformational Writer, Teacher & Consultant.
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That which is contained within these articles is based on my own empirical understanding and is true for me at the time they were written. However, as I continue to grow, what I perceive as the truth will inevitably change and as a result of this - parts of these articles may not reflect my current outlook.